Open Poetry #45 |
tangled lines |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
How many of them were dismissed? Cut out hearts and romances a string too taut and violins weep and salt the wine. I heard her in your silences. I felt her in your pauses, curse me as if I were your work plaguing you at home again. How many times will you do this? As many times as corks will bounce. I think you've got a nibble-kiss.... I think reality has found you in desperation sound captured in these absences fraught-fetched and tangled lines as heavy-laden keep. A ring you'd like to wish away and laughter from me makes you say things you thought were kindnesses oh-but-I-just-can't-do this so cut the test and Judas-ist posturing with your false kiss betrayal is your own, I say. Tomorrow is another grave... beckoning my bones. I'll leave you with your rope. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
well it's about time !!! i have missed you soooo |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
I've noticed that you were gone also. But your back! Beautiful writing. Rileigh |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so bad...but I thank you both for the warm welcome back... Helen? Yoinn? |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
What do you mean "this is so bad..." I have a question if you want to answer. Are you a teacher? Rileigh |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
no, karen is a princess |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The Serene One is baaaack! Hi, Karen! Your closing line was a doozy of a humdinger! It is what I have decided to do with someone whose bitter, negative energy is extremely draining. I'm worn out from trying to help this individual. "I'll leave you with your rope." Linda |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
cross? I'm not even a proper student, much less a teacher. And in case anyone is wondering-- Inspiration? FACEBOOK. My head still hurts...I can have a public forum spat with my husband, and I would think that's all the damned lotharios would need to know. But nope, "got pics?" criminy! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I have been trying for some time now to not read all of the responses before responding to the poem itself... and I goofed...and read all the way down... they want pics???? Fools. LOL... Welcome home, serenity. How was the vacation? Oh, yea. [Note to Sunshine...read above.] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Not only do they want PICS? They want a boxing ring!!! Now THAT is funny! |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I really liked the idea, very nice. ARCTIC WINDS |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Tomorrow is another grave... beckoning my bones. I'll leave you with your rope. God, how long has it been since I was at this site? Yours words were always so unique and inspiring ... |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Golly I thought this was going to be A poem about fishing on the river. Well done Witchy Poo Gloom |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Incredibly powerful poem Karen. Makes me want to know if they got the message, what happend next? |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Well, dear Karen, your last line fits the whole just so perfectly. This will stay with me for a while, hopefully enough long to not induce me to feel guilty for any of his reactions. Great job, thank you! Love, Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Actually, the only thing I like about this is the last three lines... but my it is good to see my old friends again. And I had told myself I'd play those mindless games over there until I quit thinking in poetry. After reading this, I think I've succeeded. *laughing* ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my... I <3 my pipfriends. And oh my Helen, even a little princess crown is too heavy for my head. But I love you. |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
It's good to see you back, Karen. |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
Hey Karen, throw a lil bit o' that New Orleans Magic at 'em, that'll teach 'em LOL |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I can certainly relate to parts of this Nice to read you as always! btw, where are you back from? M |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen..." I'll leave you with your rope" Enough to hang himself with I presume. Regardless of what you might think, I think this is a great write...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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luminosity Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813 |
what a tangled web we weave....or should I say is woven around us......wow....powerful write |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Well I don't know where you went because I have been gone too! I love the end of this of course. Jenn "Its gonna be alright cause I'm okay with me" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
About the only poetic lack you have is judgment of your own work. *S* I was appreciating the whispered screams of frustration, blown away by the ending... then your response that it's bad??? One of us is missin' sumpin', lady... and it ain't me! LOL |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Why don't you just say what is on your mind, Karen. (laughing) It's so good to have you back. Ida |
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