Peaceful Flight - Please comment : ) (Ottava Rima Challenge)

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Open Poetry #45

Peaceful Flight - Please comment : ) (Ottava Rima Challenge)

crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

0 posted 2009-07-31 03:59 PM

I did this for a poetry workshop and I have do idea if its any good or not...

An eagle starts to soar the time away.
She shows the best example of a flight.
Feeling so free until the close of day,
Unites with nature 'fore the end of light.
Lands in the nest by swiping leaves astray.
Nestles up to get rest throughout the night.
Wakes up early, the first thing in the morn.'
Soon, just in time to see her young be born.

[This message has been edited by crosscountry83 (07-31-2009 11:32 PM).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2009-07-31 04:54 PM

You did an excellent job, this is exactly what I saw! Beautifully done.

Mysteria

crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

2 posted 2009-07-31 06:58 PM

Thanks, this type of poetry is really hard for me though... it took a while to try to get the syllables right...

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 2009-07-31 08:29 PM

What did they say in the workshop? I liked the images that you created in your poem. Have you posted other poems here in PiP? I'd like to read some more of your work.

Alison

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

4 posted 2009-07-31 08:51 PM

I liked it.  The first line reminded me of how long of an uncomfortable wait it can be until a babe is born!  When your eagle rustled through the leaves, I thought to myself, "Home at last!"

Here's to continued writing!  Cheers!

misce'

crosscountry83
Member

since 2009-07-30

Posts 345

5 posted 2009-07-31 09:14 PM

They haven't said anything yet, I'm still waiting to see. Until recently I haven't ever written any poetry except what was required in school. I did write a couple lately though: "Becoming who we are" and "My pain, her pain." are both in the teen poetry section. Thanks for the comment

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

6 posted 2009-08-03 05:49 PM

Hi, there, CC! I know why poetry forms are often given as challenges ~ It's because they are ding dang challenging! It's akin to following a complicated recipe!!!

Loved the theme and the descriptive writing!

Earth Angel

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