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Teen Poetry #9
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ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33
Indiana, United States

0 posted 2009-12-15 03:58 PM


I still want to work with it some, but just wanted to get it out here for now to get some feedback.
Walked Away


If you wonder why I never call
There’s something you should understand
You were the reason for my hardest fall
But where were you when I had to land?

I never thought you’d walk away
I thought we’d always make it through
I never thought I could feel this way
I fight back tears just seeing you

You taught me how to love
You always saw the best in me
The irony cuts me to the bone because
I now know how much i refused to see

I would have never guessed
I'd be waiting for my heart to mend
With you, i felt so blessed
And now the nights just won't end

You were my better half
The highlight of every day
You were the reason behind every laugh
How did it end this way?

I believed you every time you lied
I would have done anything for you to stay
I wiped away every tear you ever cried
But still you got up,
And walked away




[This message has been edited by ThatOneGuy (12-16-2009 10:37 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 ThatOneGuy - All Rights Reserved
m48
Member
since 2009-12-02
Posts 108

1 posted 2009-12-15 04:11 PM


wow. it painted a story and made some past feelings come up.very well written,this far any way.lol

ps i dont think i have read your work before so if you are new welcome.from m48

ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33
Indiana, United States
2 posted 2009-12-15 04:50 PM


hey yeah i am new here and actually new to sharing anything i've written period. so it's a pretty different thing for me. and thanks for the feedback.
m48
Member
since 2009-12-02
Posts 108

3 posted 2009-12-16 11:53 AM


no prob. i was new once too and i also just made a come back a few weeks ago.so im kinda in the same boat.
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2009-12-16 03:05 PM


First off, Welcome To Passions!  I know you will enjoy sharing your work and making comments on others work to make some great friends.

The is was a wonderful first post, and if you will check your email - a special welcome awaits you from all of us here.

            
Happy Holidays
♥ Mysteria ♥

ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33
Indiana, United States
5 posted 2009-12-16 10:38 PM


I changed a couple things since I posted this the first time and added to it, what do you guys think? comments/suggestions?
minitechie
Junior Member
since 2008-05-26
Posts 23
california
6 posted 2009-12-17 01:45 PM


Wow, dude, that is so cool. i can totaly relate to this situation. its happend to me one to many times. The flow is really good and the wording is great. very nice peice.

Harlequin's Queen and Diablo's Daughter.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
7 posted 2009-12-17 11:36 PM


Wow..you made me cry. This is a brilliant write. Everything that was stated holds true for me. Especially these two lines;

"I never thought I could feel this way
I fight back tears just seeing you"

Brilliant first post, it well definitely be put in my library. I hope to read more soon.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

Leanne <3
Member
since 2007-08-25
Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia
8 posted 2009-12-18 12:56 PM


loved this one! great write
-Lee

ThatOneGuy
Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33
Indiana, United States
9 posted 2009-12-18 02:50 AM


thanks  guys
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