Teen Poetry #9 |
Walked Away |
ThatOneGuy Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33Indiana, United States |
I still want to work with it some, but just wanted to get it out here for now to get some feedback. Walked Away If you wonder why I never call There’s something you should understand You were the reason for my hardest fall But where were you when I had to land? I never thought you’d walk away I thought we’d always make it through I never thought I could feel this way I fight back tears just seeing you You taught me how to love You always saw the best in me The irony cuts me to the bone because I now know how much i refused to see I would have never guessed I'd be waiting for my heart to mend With you, i felt so blessed And now the nights just won't end You were my better half The highlight of every day You were the reason behind every laugh How did it end this way? I believed you every time you lied I would have done anything for you to stay I wiped away every tear you ever cried But still you got up, And walked away [This message has been edited by ThatOneGuy (12-16-2009 10:37 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2009 ThatOneGuy - All Rights Reserved | |||
m48 Member
since 2009-12-02
Posts 108 |
wow. it painted a story and made some past feelings come up.very well written,this far any way.lol ps i dont think i have read your work before so if you are new welcome.from m48 |
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ThatOneGuy Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33Indiana, United States |
hey yeah i am new here and actually new to sharing anything i've written period. so it's a pretty different thing for me. and thanks for the feedback. |
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m48 Member
since 2009-12-02
Posts 108 |
no prob. i was new once too and i also just made a come back a few weeks ago.so im kinda in the same boat. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
First off, Welcome To Passions! I know you will enjoy sharing your work and making comments on others work to make some great friends. The is was a wonderful first post, and if you will check your email - a special welcome awaits you from all of us here. |
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ThatOneGuy Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33Indiana, United States |
I changed a couple things since I posted this the first time and added to it, what do you guys think? comments/suggestions? |
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minitechie Junior Member
since 2008-05-26
Posts 23california |
Wow, dude, that is so cool. i can totaly relate to this situation. its happend to me one to many times. The flow is really good and the wording is great. very nice peice. Harlequin's Queen and Diablo's Daughter. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Wow..you made me cry. This is a brilliant write. Everything that was stated holds true for me. Especially these two lines; "I never thought I could feel this way I fight back tears just seeing you" Brilliant first post, it well definitely be put in my library. I hope to read more soon. {~~*~~} EmilyTheStrange |
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Leanne <3 Member
since 2007-08-25
Posts 216N.S.W, Australia |
loved this one! great write -Lee |
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ThatOneGuy Junior Member
since 2009-10-27
Posts 33Indiana, United States |
thanks guys |
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