not so perfect - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #9

not so perfect

m48
Member

since 2009-12-02

Posts 108

0 posted 2009-12-17 03:22 PM

im not your reflection
in the mirror
you tell everyone
you have such a good girl
but yet it seems
sometimes you dont trust
my common sense
yes im you daughter
your little girl
really though im an adult
to eyes of the world

you are who i look up to
my hero if you will
but realize we dont think the same way
know its ok for me to learn
from a mistake
life is trial and error
of course you want to be there
also that youre going to worry
but im telling you
the daughter you raised
will be ok
you did an awsome job

also im nearly twenty
with two jobs and a diploma
you must have done something right
so thanks mommy
and i really hate when we fight
so lets try to do it less
love and kisses
youre the best

Ravagence
Member

since 2009-08-16

Posts 79

1 posted 2009-12-17 04:13 PM

First stanza is excellent, second is good, but the third lacks what the second and first had. I find it hard to be consistent.

m48
Member

since 2009-12-02

Posts 108

2 posted 2009-12-18 01:34 PM

thank you i will take a look and see what i can do.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.