See Fun Proud Care Glad Say True

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Teen Poetry #9

See Fun Proud Care Glad Say True

madelyn
Member

since 2009-09-03

Posts 172
Purgatory

0 posted 2009-11-05 02:42 AM

Are you happy to see,
What you've done to me?

Are you having fun,
Taking away my sun?

Are you really that proud,
Making my life such a rain cloud?

Do you really care?
I think you are so unfair!

Are you really glad,
About making my life so sad?

Most people say,
It'll be Ok...

But I l know what's true,
You always meant to make me blue.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2009-11-05 01:32 PM

I loved your poem, and the message is one a lot of people are going to identify with. However, the title threw me, and might I suggest a simple title, like "Blue?" Right away that one word can tell the reader what your beautifully rhymed poem might be about.

Nicely done.

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