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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-10-04 07:49 PM

Watch them glitter in the sun
The morning dew, forming in her eyes
Tears fall slowly; her voice in a quiver
As you try to look past the lies

Her lips move yet words mean little
Managing to hold her poise well
Her promises held against her
Your mind and heart compelled

She's got you in a vice
Constricted in your own shame
Taken her back unconsciously
Now who's the one to blame?

What happened to true love?
The one you longed and yearned
Was it worth the flight?
In the end to crash and burn

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

1 posted 2009-10-05 02:28 AM

"her voice in a quiver
As you try to look past the lies

Her lips move yet words mean little
Managing to hold her poise well"

Though they aren't part of the same stanza, these two parts spoke out to me. Even though the described girl is in a weakened state, she holds her ground.

I also loved the last two lines. How many times have I asked myself something similar?

Thanks for posting.

There is power in the pen.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2009-10-07 07:57 AM

Thanks for reading.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2009-11-05 02:00 PM

Excellent Zack! I think over time we all have had a crash a burn, and was it worth it? Yes, as you take from that relationship the things you like, and those you don't like, and will hopefully never do again.

I am the arch angel
Member

since 2008-02-02

Posts 167
nowhere,illinois,USA

4 posted 2009-11-05 04:27 PM

masterpiece, excellent. great word choice. i wish i was that good with words

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

5 posted 2009-11-05 04:45 PM

Thanks Mysteria and Keagan!

Mysteria: Yeah I know what you mean. It took me a while to realize that every relationship and experience, good or bad, I've learned from them. So there's an upside to ever down on.

Keagan: Dude thanks but I know you can beat me without even trying. :P

-Zach

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