Teen Poetry #9 |
He lies with a sincere smile. |
Chiyeung New Member
since 2008-04-27
Posts 8NY, USA |
He lies to you, with the most sincere smile, he takes you into his arms and comforts you, with his words he tells you- trust me. You look into his eyes, unable to see beyond the mask, a veil which hides his emotions, a struggle within him, a decision between you and the stars of the Archer but you believe him, when he says- I am here for you. He flatters you with sweet talk, playing with your beliefs, expressing feelings you believe in. Compliments go a long way. But inside him, he is lost. Struggling within the maze of the night, torn across the Way, seeking what he already has, struggling to let go. During lonely nights in bed, you think of him, as he gazes upon the stars, distant and far making out the path of arrows in which She dances, You imagine him say I miss you. You muster the courage, to tell him you love him. He smiles, but a smile that isn't his, inside of him his mind is distant and the heart is further, fantasizing about the Archer but even so he replies with what you believe; I love you. But he'll never mean you. |
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© Copyright 2009 Chiyeung - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Awwe! Sad poem but good. Very good. Though I was confused about the Archer thing. I thought you were meaning to constellations but that part doesn't make much sense to me. Good write over all, -Zach |
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Chiyeung New Member
since 2008-04-27
Posts 8NY, USA |
You are right! it is about a Sagittarius ! |
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precious pearls Member
since 2009-07-24
Posts 110NJ; United States |
Wow... that was... wow. I mean it you described it with such beautiful metaphors and similies.... made me feel the actual pain in a way. Absolutley superb |
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Chiyeung New Member
since 2008-04-27
Posts 8NY, USA |
THANK YOU so much! |
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UNTAMEDelegance Member
since 2009-05-30
Posts 222Oregon |
This is such a sad poem. Beautiful, but sad. You write in a truly eloquent and descriptive way that took me right there into the poem. Wonderful write. =^.^= May I ask what your inspiration was? ~UNTAMEDelegance |
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Chiyeung New Member
since 2008-04-27
Posts 8NY, USA |
Thank You so much. From a personal experience, being torn between 2 people and realizing that I was merely substituting a person for another. Stupid, I know. |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
absolutely true! i know this from from personal experience too... terrible things they do... and believe me its not stupid am I sounding ignorant when i say that? just to say your not the only one...if that helps...i mean it too [This message has been edited by priyanka (10-06-2009 11:44 AM).] |
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priyanka Member
since 2009-06-15
Posts 216india |
nice poem ...conveys a lot of things...meaningful too |
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Thick_Goddness_973 Junior Member
since 2009-10-25
Posts 13 |
i love your poem it so sad but warm but it heart warming |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
welcome to Passions. I really enjoyed this. it had an amazing story line to it. Krysti |
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