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Teen Poetry #9

The First Ones To Fall

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

0 posted 2009-08-27 03:29 PM

Silence. Then four loud shots.
The pieces are in place.

Hours pass. The scene is vacant.
The bodies lay dormant.

A car speeds down the highway.
The sunset is approaching.

Laughter. They are almost there.
They are hidden in fog.

Waves crash. The pier is in sight.
Four men hit the ground.

Five minutes is all he needs.
He drives off lighter.

Headline. "Four Men Found Dead".
They were the first to fall.

A man sees the paper and smirks.
They will not be the last.

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;" -Edgar All

[This message has been edited by Elias Nevermore (08-28-2009 08:26 PM).]

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2009-09-11 11:55 PM

A bit dark for teen, but otherwise I liked it. Especially the first two lines. Nice write.

{~~*~~}

Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
{~~*~~}

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2009-09-12 02:03 PM

heavy poem you have here enjoyed
Krysti

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

3 posted 2009-10-08 02:52 AM

Yeah, sounds like another plot I'd love to hear about. And wow:

"Five minutes is all he needs.
He drives off lighter."

There is power in the pen.

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