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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-08-22 10:07 AM

Hand me the silk thread
That's lying on the floor
The damages are fatal
My heart's been through another war

Was it really worth it?
To say I loved and lost
Then to never love at all?
Despite what it cost

I sharpen the needle
And puncture the beating flesh
Opening and cleanse the wound
Of the emotions tangled in a mesh

I retrace over the scars
From a time long ago
The beating bruises try to heal
And forget all its past woes

I tie the knot as it beats
The heart lost within its soul
What a fragile thing is it now
A fragment of what once was whole

My heart is damaged
But in time we hope it'll heal
Regain its strength again
And learn, once again, how to feel

(The title sorta doesn't make much sense. But it sounded nice for the poem and I like it. This poem was really from the heart.. Though the fifth stanza I was really debating on leaving it in.I might take it out later. Hope you enjoyed it.)

[This message has been edited by Falling rain (08-23-2009 10:30 AM).]

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

1 posted 2009-08-22 06:51 PM

"My heart is forever damaged
But in time we hope it'll heal
Regain its strength again
And learn, once again, how to feel :

try and find another word for "forever" damaged because then it can't heal

M

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

2 posted 2009-08-23 12:58 PM

This is really awesome, Zach! I love it, though I don't care for the second stanza, I'd take it out, though that's just my opinion.

The hardest part about writing poetry,
is trying not to write like everyone else.

stacylynn418
Junior Member

since 2009-03-06

Posts 40
new york

3 posted 2009-08-23 01:20 AM

very well written, and i liked it a lot :]
id say leave the fifth stanza in.

~stacy

UNTAMEDelegance
Member

since 2009-05-30

Posts 222
Oregon

4 posted 2009-08-23 11:17 PM

This is beautiful and the imagery and metaphors are wonderfully strung throughout the poem. This is one of my favorites of yours that I've read.=^.^= Also, I loved the fifth stanza. I'm glad that it's there.
~UNTAMEDelegance

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