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Teen Poetry #9

What's on my Face

Ravagence
Member

since 2009-08-16

Posts 79

0 posted 2009-08-16 02:28 PM

My Original Poem:

What's on my face

Creeping along my face,
In the dark midnight sky,
I undo my jacket rimmed with lace,
And I wonder what's on my face.

Cold legs burning dead holes through my skin,
Ripping me apart with it's fangs.
I shudder suddenly with a puff of steam,
And I wonder what's on my face.

Muttering harshly to myself,
'Nonsense, that's all it is',
I wonder if this is truly real,
For I seem to have something on my face.

::NOTE::

In this poem, the speaker has something on him. He doesn't know what it is, and it's defiantly inflicting pain on him, but he still lets it do it to him. I'm trying to put a point out there that we teens do things that hurt us, but we don't stop it. Why we do this, no-one truly knows.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2009-08-16 08:12 PM

Your poem makes more sense with your note.

It was a good poem. Welcome to Pip!!

-Zach

Ravagence
Member

since 2009-08-16

Posts 79

2 posted 2009-08-17 09:09 AM

Thanks, It's kind of inconspicuous without you knowing what's behind it.

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