Teen Poetry #9 |
She is |
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
She's the one who catches my breath The shivers up and down my spine The heat she casts upon my heart Is burning yet I feel fine The grip around my heart The wings of my soul flying Yet I can't help myself Fear for going and trying Her angelic voice sings Lullaby's that put me at ease Feather like touch brushing my skin Doing what ever she please She's the one who catches my breath The shivers up and down my spine The heat she casts upon my heart Is burning yet I feel fine -------------------------------------- Just trying to write something today. Tell me what you think about it. |
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© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
I guess I owe you a reply. But to answer your question first, things are okay with me, not the greatest but whatever. ---------------- Nice write, I like it. {~~*~~} Lacrimosa Dies Illa [Oh that tearful day] {~~*~~} [This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (08-06-2009 03:20 PM).] |
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crosscountry83 Member
since 2009-07-30
Posts 345 |
I think it has very good tone. I think it should be "feather-like" not "feather like" though. Rileigh |
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ninjawild Junior Member
since 2009-08-11
Posts 33u.s. army |
a nice read.. but i was wanting more.. i dont think you summed it all up in this short writing.. |
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