»
Main Forums
»
Teen Poetry #9
»
over and over again(not a good title)
| Teen Poetry #9 |
|
over and over again(not a good title) |
|
|
lovelyswagg14 Junior Member
since 2009-05-17
Posts 12Irvine,California |
My eyes filled with lust As i stared within his,and made me tremble and fantasize Beautiful and golden brown they were, filled my heart with butterflies taking every bit of your mouths sweet elixir has drunken me but made me well By the time i placed my sugary lips to yours i was already under your spell As we lay on stage no lights no camera but action we performed the most fabulous play dancing in unison of self made music in nothing but your sheets and my negligee Your honey skin was pure silk stretched perfectly over a body well defined Causing the most sensuous feeling as you and I poetically combined Like light sparked to firework when we touched it was clear chemistry like a smooth flowing rhythm our kiss was pure poetry I would never kiss and tell but the way you got me feeling is hard to explain Its like my favorite movie that I want to be replayed over and over again  |
||
| © Copyright 2009 ..kharlye.. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
kindredspirit Member
since 2009-05-19
Posts 156 |
"dancing in unison of self made music in nothing but your sheets and my negligee" a beautiful description of a sacred and timeless action. |
||
|
freelancer New Member
since 2009-06-19
Posts 2OK, USA |
in the line 'I would never kiss and tell but the way you got me feeling is hard to explain' the words sound kind of funny. if you worded it like this:'I would never kiss and tell but the way you had me feeling is hard to explain', it would flow better. just change 'you got me feeling' to 'you had me feeling'. but all in all, it was a great poem. |
||
|
Peanutbuttercookies'nmilk Junior Member
since 2009-05-03
Posts 31Terrell,Texas |
Amazing write.I look forward 2 reading more . |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
