Teen Poetry #9 |
Slipping Through My Fingers... |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Hey Guys, sorry to all about the non-replies on poems been so busy with the baby... time is just going on soo quickly and by the time i do get around to me time i'm just that pooped i sleep lol. Well here's something new from me... Guess it's upto you on how u interperate it. Slipping Through My Fingers.. Something isn't right I can feel it in the air This darkness is forsaken And i'll be dammed if you care Another broken promise That you shot through my heart It was never ment to hurt like this Wish you'd warned me from the start I screamed your name the other night You were no where to be found I lost myself in tears again But dared not make a sound Another night like this And i'm not sure i'll make it through I never signed up for the heart break That came from loving you It's been six days and four hours Since i heard your voice You signed up for this stupid job Because we didn't have a choice Tonight i'll lay awake and cry I'd do anything to have you here Your slipping through my fingers And i'm drowning here in fear * Um too clarify stuff.. Things are tough now the baby's here... and Andrew's taken a job.. working on a fishing boat close to the antartic borders. He's been gone for about a week.. and i haven't heard from him since he left (He promised he'd call).. it's not a full time job just two trips because we need the money... and i'm worried that something's going to happen too him... * |
||
© Copyright 2009 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Great poem like always Jess. Don't worry about Andrew, I prayed for him so I think God and his angels will take care of him. Keep your hopes up. -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
||
XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Don't worry Jess, everything will turn out fine. I know it's hurting you, but i know Andrew loves you. hugs 'n kisses, Em {~~*~~} Miss.Emmalee |
||
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
I would say don't worry, but being a girl with a daring boyfriend myself, I understand that those words hardly mean a thing. So what I will tell you is that #1- Beautiful poem, loved the wording, felt the emotion. #2- Faith is a wonderful thing. #3- When he gets back you better kick his butt for not calling. lol. Best wishes Jess. I'm sure that he'll be safe. -Kate "Lucy: I think you are the most selfish person on the planet. George: Well that's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?" |
||
Rocheal Junior Member
since 2009-03-15
Posts 25 |
What an awesome poem-- you write so well. |
||
GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
This poem was very good. I would be so angry at him for not calling, but yeah I'm sure you will worry no matter what. In the last line of the first stanza maybe taking the word 'and' out would help the flow a little. It just caught my attention. Nice work. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |