Teen Poetry #9 |
These memories(freewrite #2) |
freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Topic:If only I could erace the memory It took me five minutes These memories all around me They just won't go away If only I could erase them And forget from where they came If only they weren't real Would life ease up on me Would my wounds forever heal From all insanity Would smiles fill my world again And fight off all this pain Would laughs suffocate life And make me feel more sane These memories I hold on to Now fill me with so much regret If only I could erase them But do I really want to forget No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else! [This message has been edited by freeand2sexy (03-15-2009 10:39 PM).] |
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isabella223 Junior Member
since 2009-03-14
Posts 16 |
wow i loved the last stanza. i like how you first use insanity in the last line of a stanza and then use sane in the following one in the last line... does that make sense? [This message has been edited by isabella223 (03-15-2009 09:31 PM).] |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
If you look closely you'll see that it does. But I did realize that it's kind of redundant. "Would my wounds forever heal / from all insanity" "Would laughs suffocate life / and make me feel more sane" Wouldn’t you agree that it kind of sounds the same, just worded differently? So it does make sense but it’s redundant. No, I'm not conceited, 2sexy doesn't mean "too sexy", it means something else! |
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