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Teen Poetry #9

Rêve Vivant

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

0 posted 2009-05-14 11:01 PM

A whispering wind fills the air,
surrounding all that remains.
Gathering all the broken and bruised,
frighting the sun into the distance.
When clouds roll in like a wave from the sea,
I'll marvel at the sound of the storm.
Oblivious to the rain that is falling around,
camouflaging the warm tears on my skin.

{~~*~~}

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

1 posted 2009-05-15 05:16 AM

This is a nice gentle poem, consistent in tone, and with a poignant ending. Well done.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2009-05-15 07:59 AM

I really like this Em.

-Zach

I love my crayons. :D lol

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

3 posted 2009-05-15 12:54 PM

em this is beautiful, absolutly beautiful.

julianna

.:.:~]you clicked your heals and wished for me[~:.:.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

4 posted 2009-05-15 08:46 PM

This is wonderful. I love it.

The tips of my fingers
Start to bleed the thoughts
That overwhelm me

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

5 posted 2009-05-15 11:15 PM

Thanks, I'm glad you like it. It took me almost twenty minutes, believe it or not...

{~~*~~}

Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
{~~*~~}

Ethernaut
Junior Member

since 2009-04-07

Posts 31
NT, Australia

6 posted 2009-05-31 01:56 AM

Isn't it strange that the simplest poems take so long to write, yet the longest just flow right out.

There is nothing like a storm to bring peace and wash away the pain.

Beautiful

Beauty can be found in all places, even within the darkness of the soul.

nehematala
Member

since 2009-05-21

Posts 129

7 posted 2009-05-31 03:36 PM

This poem is amazing

If you don't like something,
Change it...
If you can't change it,
Change the way you think about it

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