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Teen Poetry #9
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Falling rain
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since 2008-01-31
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Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-05-06 06:55 PM



I breathe slowly
as I lean along the ledge
Caution in my step
Dancing between the edge

The wind brushes lightly
Across my blushing cheek
Whispering to me hope
Promising adventure to seek

I say "hello" fondly,
Doubt hides behind my smile,
To the future that I greet,
Promising yet scary all the while

One foot stepped forward
The other holding me back
Can't figure out where I am
Confidence I surely lack

I breathe slowly
as I lean along the edge
Caution speaking on my lips
Forgetting about the ledge

(So its been sometime since I last wrote something, I thought, was good. I really don't know about this poem. I tried writing it over and over. This is my end result. The ending stanza is like weird for me. It sounds bad but I didn't mean it that way. Enjoy?)




© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
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with you
1 posted 2009-05-06 07:04 PM


I thought it was great! the future is always scary when you are getting ready to venture out and test your wings...you did real good showing that!
XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891
Neverland
2 posted 2009-05-06 08:27 PM


I think the ending is fine. It ends it in a nice to-the-point kind of way.
nice write,

{~~*~~}

Lacrimosa Dies Illa
[Oh that tearful day]
    {~~*~~}

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
3 posted 2009-05-07 07:26 AM


I like this Zach.. It's good..
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
4 posted 2009-05-07 12:42 PM


I think this is very nice and relatable. I do think the ending is fine, but I have to admit, I think it could have been better.

You laugh because I'm different...
I laugh cause I just farted!

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