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Rosie_Orange
Junior Member

since 2009-04-20

Posts 46
South Africa

0 posted 2009-04-22 10:39 AM

Standing on opposite ends of a room
our eyes linked
for a second.
Turquoise blue, flecked with knowledge
He had seen the world.
Banal, boring brown
Clearly I was no equal.
Lost in the crowd, a second long romance.

JenniferMaxwell

Member Elite

since 2006-09-14

Posts 2423

1 posted 2009-04-22 11:36 AM

Welcome to Passions, Rosie!

Those across the room glances, sometimes real heartbreakers. Good poem, Rosie, you captured the moment perfectly. I think you're really going to love our teen forum. Everyone's very friendly and they all encourage each other in their writing. I look forward to reading more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (Please check your e-mail for a special greeting)

Jennifer - Moderator/Passions in Poetry

moonbeam

Member Elite

since 2005-12-24

Posts 2356

2 posted 2009-04-22 05:00 PM

Hi Rosie

I see my colleague Jenn has welcomed you to PiP, I do too. You'll find this a great place with friendly people, and if you want it, you can get some good feedback on your poetry too.

This was a very good first post. I liked the formatting, and there were some original moments: "eyes linked", "flecked with knowledge" (marvellous). Nice close too.

Hope to see more of your stuff in due course.

Best.

M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2009-04-22 11:43 PM

Oh my, you've already found great company as evidenced by the above replies.

I too, enjoyed this--you took a moment that I think we've all suffered through, so nod, you have that universal connection going with this piece.

Welcome to Pip.

I'll be looking forward to tracking you--because um, I found a bit of intrigue at this first glance.

Definitely not to be discarded.

Enjoyed.

Rosie_Orange
Junior Member

since 2009-04-20

Posts 46
South Africa

4 posted 2009-04-23 01:25 PM

Thanks so much!!
I'm really happy my first poem's gone down well... so far!!!

Love, Peace, Chocolate *mmmmmm*

KeyLimeSorbet
Member

since 2008-03-05

Posts 74
Colorado

5 posted 2009-05-06 04:11 PM

When i read your poem, i really feel like i'm there experiencing it. I really enjoy poetry that can do that!
Welcome to pip!

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