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Teen Poetry #9

a perfect world

illuminated truth
Junior Member

since 2009-02-16

Posts 20

0 posted 2009-04-01 03:50 PM

to save mankind
make us blind
make us whole
from Nairobi to Seoul

erase our hearts
let's begin at the start
remove all the hate
let kindness be our only trait

build bridges & tear down walls
because without love, we are nothing at all
no more emphasis on skin
our souls are just renting the bodies we're in

there is no difference among us
lets be naive again like the young us
in reality we all have the same fears
we all cry the same tears

teach us how to give back
help us unlearn how to attack
restore our devotion
make us void of malice emotions

distort our perception, of rich & poor
beliefs that materialism is all to live for
none of us are perfect, none without flaw
but when I looked to the future, this is the world I saw

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2009-04-01 04:02 PM

that sure would be nice

Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

2 posted 2009-04-03 05:36 AM

"our souls are just renting the bodies we're in"

Really liked this line for some reason.

Good poem, great ideas and great imagery. The rythm was off in a coupld of places. Try taking some words out here and there.

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