Phase Between Life and Death

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Teen Poetry #9

Phase Between Life and Death

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

0 posted 2009-02-28 11:24 PM

Broken down by a gunshot
heard across an open plane,
a human shatters as he
hits the final barrier.

Crimson flood emerges out
from the breathless crater
with glass shards scattered
in the endless chasm of chaos.

Dead soul cedes from body
as fragile life withers away,
the container turns to dust
leaving only death and decay.

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;" -Edgar All

[This message has been edited by Elias Nevermore (03-01-2009 11:15 PM).]

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

1 posted 2009-03-03 09:00 AM

Nice Imagery

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2009-03-03 09:55 AM

Really nice imagery!!

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

3 posted 2009-03-03 03:13 PM

Wow, this is really good, love the imagery as well.

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Elias Nevermore
Member

since 2007-11-03

Posts 152

4 posted 2009-03-03 07:45 PM

hahaha, thanks you guys.

I really tried to make sure that the imagery conveyed the transition between life and death accurately.

I appreciate your feedback

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