Manipulative love, it is who I was!

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Teen Poetry #9

Manipulative love, it is who I was!

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

0 posted 2009-02-19 11:46 AM

First of all let me state that I wrote this before Moonbeam assigned me a blank verse (of 50 lines)and also that I wrote this as a vent and didn't want to care about pattern or meter, tho I ended up having a pattern. So critiques are welcomed, but only about the wording, and not about meter.

Manipulative love,
A craving sense, to feel what shouldn’t be felt,
But it is who I was,
A staggering, life of games, to which I dealt.

Enough is not this lust;
No satisfaction, left to fill empty hearts.
A thirst for my own trust,
Not a tactic found, on our devious charts.

Like fool’s gold inside me,
A fragile replica, of adoration,
Though its picture fancy,
It’s only a sick gag, a hoaxed creation.

But it is who I was,
Deception, erratic beats you shouldn’t feel.
Manipulative love,
An old me, scheming with sin, to swap what’s real.

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2009-02-19 05:20 PM

Oh my God!!! I love the wording in this!! I dare say that you are by far wayyyy better at wording than I am! lol
Great job!!!!!!!!!

-Zach

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

2 posted 2009-02-19 06:35 PM

Thanks Zach, it means a lot, especially coming from you.

With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life.

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