Teen Poetry #9 |
Looking Glass |
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Okay so the pattern is 8,6,8,6. I think this was an okay poem. At least I got the pattern down.. right? Enjoy? Looking Glass Looking upon the mirror glass Sinking deep, drowning fast Oh whose that stranger that I see It's anyone but me It stares; giving a smile coy Its just a fragile boy Never amount to nothing more His wings will never soar His tears etch deep within his past Mesmerized in the glass Who is that stranger that I see It's anyone but me |
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© Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
Yay!!!! you got the pattern down. This is great, now you just need to focus on the meter and where the stresses are. The consistent pattern is really good, tho!!! With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Ok, I'm going crazy. The pattern really is perfect and I like the idea. Now, my turn to get something right. Aside: Like that will ever happen. |
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Suncleaver Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481Stafford England |
This is a great work Zach. You got the pattern down perfectly without losing any imagery or feeling. Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told. |
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