»
Main Forums
»
Teen Poetry #9
»
Weather (Imagery Poem)
| Teen Poetry #9 |
|
Weather (Imagery Poem) |
|
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois 
|
Cobble stones lie Under the dark silk sky Leafs dance around my feet Upon my cheek the summer heat The sun cast its last farewell With all its colors bright as hell The heavens filled with mercury stars A faint reminder of where we are Moon smiles at me under its light Conquering over twilight Shadows following me like a lost pet Like my memories that I can't forget Clear skies leave me alone As church bells drone Raindrops fall upon the earth Dark clouds giving birth Lamps being lit as I run to hide I'll take some shelter inside Settle down inside this nest While cloudy skies rain in the west (So this poem is pretty much about imagery doesn't have a great story line but its pretty much a forced poem.) |
||
| © Copyright 2009 Zach Booker-Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Octave Member
since 2008-07-29
Posts 186Highlands, Scotland. |
I quite liked this actually. I think its one of my favourites from you so far. You have some very pretty imagery going on there. There are some vrry nice lines, which give a clear picture in the mind. There were a couple of lines here and there where the rythme was off, distracting me from the poem itself. Its important to get the flow of the poem right. Read it out loud and see how it feels on your tongue. Overall, nice stuff, keep it up. (: |
||
|
freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I like this, too! I would tell you that if you learned to write using some kind meter in your poems, your poetry would become absolutely amazing, but i'm afaid that i would confuse you like i did to Michaela. But i guess i just did tell you, lol! I'm feelin a lil stupid today! With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
||
|
Suncleaver Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481Stafford England |
I've watched your poetry grow with great interest Zach, you have a fantastic gift for imagery. I have to agree with Freeand2sexy, learn to experiment with different meters and rhyme structures. I started off writing rhymeless 'Stream of Conciousness' poetry in the dark section and after finding love again afte my fiancee's death five years ago and learning the techniques of rhyme and meter, I think I've improved. I think you will too. It's at least worth a shot. Here's to a bright future Zach. Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told. |
||
|
Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Thank you very much guys for all your pleasant comments. One question though. What is a meter 'cause I hear that word a lot and I'm not too clear on what it is. Would anyone please explain a little? Please and thanks! -Zach When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you. |
||
|
freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
michaela posted in the Q&A asking how to use meter /pip/Forum13/HTML/001448.html |
||
|
GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Ha! Yea I did get very confused. The explanation they gave me in the Q & A helped a lot though. It'll take me some time to learn it I'm afraid. This is a very pretty piece. I like how different it is from your other poems. Definately one of my favorites. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
