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Teen Poetry #9
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My home, my grave
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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My home, my grave |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
I’ve been walking through this narrow cave Hollow, darkness roams through the damp air I wonder is this where I should stay To live without tender loving care Is this my escape or is this home Is this my fate, where I’m meant to be Where I overcome my fears, alone And live through my own insanity This could be all mine, right where I stand A place to leave my old life behind I’ll finally find out who I am In this lonesome cave I’ll have my time I sit in the dark stillness of day Crying painful tears I cannot see The consequence of running away Once thinking that this would set me free Now I wonder why the ground must shake Or why fear fills my body and soul I start running but then hit the brakes Realizing I’m stuck in my own home Were rocks of my dwelling meant to fall To suffocate me here where I lay Hidden from the world behind a wall Left to die with a sense of dismay Now how could anyone rescue me Stuck as I’m gasping for life and air Till the final moment that I breathe I’ll question if anyone will care That this, my own home, is now my grave With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. [This message has been edited by freeand2sexy (02-11-2009 09:48 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2009 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
At first, I felt confusion emanating from ur words. The decision seems to be looming over ur head, like the clouds we've been having lately. Although it was subtle, I really liked the anxiety that replaced the confusion, and then the horror that followed. Lol, I'm deeply afraid of being alone, so ur poem really struck a chord. :] There is power in the pen. |
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stil_watrs_run_deep Junior Member
since 2008-01-05
Posts 14missouri |
i really enjoyed your poem =] i could actually feel the emotion that you put into it! |
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GothicCherry Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471TN |
Love it!! Wonderful metaphors. You painted it well and kept me intrigued |
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freeand2sexy Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704CA, USA |
thank you guys, it actually isn't as good as it could be, i had to fix it and take out the cliches, the poem i reposted in critcal analysis is slightly better, but only slightly. With God I am happy; sadness has no say in my life. |
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