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SarahJoyScott
Junior Member

since 2011-01-13

Posts 16
Finland

0 posted 2011-01-20 05:53 AM

Hei hei everyone!
I'm Sarah Joy, raised very Christian.
My heart and soul goes out to everyone enduring hard times.

Anyway, this will be my first poem here.
Sorry for any possible spelling errors, I'm finnish.
It's a simple poem... Yeah! Pretty Simple! So here goes!

~This is about feeling in love, having a crush on someone,
that seems unreachable. But there's hope and dreams.
___________________________________________________

= You and me =

I wish that I could see
All the possibilities in me
Cause I want to be
A rising star for you and me

I wish that I could care
for you, to always be there
And to realy have trust
and not because I must

I wish I had more faith
but i'll continu to wait
to be your precious little rose
while writing this small prose

I realy want you and me to be.. We..
For everyone to see.. Each he and she
That life realy could be
A blessing for you and me

Then everyone will speak of.. us..
While sitting together on a bus
travelling with haste and rush
enjoying our neverending crush

There should be no more you and me
From now on.. you and me, should be.. we..
I feel the need to dream and hope
But I don't know how long.. i can cope

~Sarah Joy Scott

___________________________________________________

Okay... So this started out with 4 paragraphs..
But while writing those 4 down here,
I got inspiration to add another 2 extra at the end... hihi
The original poem is the first 4 paragraphs.
But I'm realy closing this poem now!
It's enough allready.

Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy.
Thanks for reading.

Greets,
Sarah

IhaveIssues
New Member

since 2011-01-20

Posts 2
oklahoma,USA

1 posted 2011-01-20 04:41 PM

Thats a really good poem and i can relate. If its describing your current emotion just hang in there! Karma is kind to thoose who bring joy! Keep writing this was Great!

SarahJoyScott
Junior Member

since 2011-01-13

Posts 16
Finland

2 posted 2011-01-20 05:39 PM

Thank you for those kind words.
I'll keep on writing!

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

3 posted 2011-01-21 10:39 AM

This is good for someone to whom English isn't a first language. In fact, it's as good as many for whom English IS a first language. I also like the upbeat tone in spite of being about a struggle of the heart.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

SarahJoyScott
Junior Member

since 2011-01-13

Posts 16
Finland

4 posted 2011-01-27 08:17 AM

Thanks... I think

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

5 posted 2011-01-30 12:02 PM

I apologize, yes, that was a compliment, hahaha!

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

*tori_rose*
Junior Member

since 2010-10-12

Posts 44
Weber City, VA

6 posted 2011-02-05 10:15 PM

i love it

keep up the good wotk

~*tori*~

SarahJoyScott
Junior Member

since 2011-01-13

Posts 16
Finland

7 posted 2011-02-07 12:51 PM

Hihi thanks all.
I noticed my spelling error in it now I think.

I didn't use the correct tenses.
It should be something like..

'I'd wish that I could see.'
Cause it's past tense. Not 'I wish'.
Or something like that.

I'm a bit perfectionistic,
specialy on poems. So I think I need
to correct still a few things, for it
to be finished.

Anyway i'm working on 2 new poems,
which i like too, and I'll post them soon.
Everyone is always welcome to correct some stuff.
At the same time it will improve my english skills too!

I love to learn! Thank you.

Cheers,
Sarah

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