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Teen Poetry #9
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what you don't see....
| Teen Poetry #9 |
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what you don't see.... |
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*tori_rose* Junior Member
since 2010-10-12
Posts 44Weber City, VA |
this is my first posted poem so i would love to hear your thoughts. You look at me and see me smile, but on the inside I feel like I'm dying you never see my true feelings cause by day I am happy but by night I am laying and crying. My thoughts are like a jigsaw puzzle. not knowing where they should go I try and try to get it right but it doesn't seem to work. My nerves are all rattled and I wish my mind would go blank I lay in my bed wishing as I am crying. no one there to hold me just me, myself and I oh how I wish it would all just go away but I know it never will.... ~*tori*~ |
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| © Copyright 2010 victoria wheale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
I completely understand how you feel. You really got to the point quickly and described the situation well, but in a way that still kept me interested in how it would end. Great first post. =] Now, speaking from my own experience I'd have to say that even though it feels like it'll never go away, sometimes it does. other times it doesn't but all you have to do then is think back to all the times it has. That feeling of being alone even in a group of people. Feeling like you can't let your guard down because it's too hard to put it back up. and crying, not because you're sad but because you don't know what else to do. All these things can overwhelm us to a point where we feel like we are spinning in circles and wont ever be able to find our way. But I'll tell you what, all you have to do is get someones attention and ask for directions. It's true that most times that's harder than sitting it out, and sometimes there isn't any other way, but if we just sit around waiting for answers we wont find them. just some thoughts. I hope you find your way soon. =] good write, {~~*~~} EmilyTheStrange |
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animecrazy71 Junior Member
since 2010-10-01
Posts 16Pakistan |
I really liked the poem, very touching.... |
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*tori_rose* Junior Member
since 2010-10-12
Posts 44Weber City, VA |
thank you both very much i am glad you like it. you will have to watch out for more cause i am goin to post another similar to this at some point to day  ~*tori*~ |
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animecrazy71 Junior Member
since 2010-10-01
Posts 16Pakistan |
i will be looking forward to it.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome to Passions! Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting! " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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*tori_rose* Junior Member
since 2010-10-12
Posts 44Weber City, VA |
i posted it thought i would let you know, its called A cover up. ~*tori*~ |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Welcome to Passions. great first post! the more you write the more of a natural you will become. just write from the heart Krysti |
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Prats Member
since 2010-12-16
Posts 74 |
A really touching poem... doesn't seem like u r writing 1st time... Prats!!! :D |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
This reminds me, in it's style and precise wording, very much of Japanese poetry. Very cool. ·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· |
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Sara Mikael Junior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 34 |
amazingly written......... good job.... |
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*tori_rose* Junior Member
since 2010-10-12
Posts 44Weber City, VA |
thank you all and you are right its not my first time writing just the first time i let anyone else read them i have pages i have written in various moods~*tori*~ |
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