What would you do? (R.I.P Taylor)

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Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2009-01-04 03:13 PM

"This poem that I wrote was for a friend. Her best friend committed suicide today and I wrote this for her. Please don't pull it off cause it does have suicide in it. I'm writing as in a first person perspective of her best friend. Sabrina I hope doing okay. We're all here for ya. Or at least I am..

~*R.I.P Taylor*~

What would you do?

If somehow it was time.
For me to pack of my bags and go.
Would you be there to stop me
And tell me "no"?

If Heavens gate opened up for me
Because I thought my life had to end.
Would you mourn over me?
like you would do being a true friend.

My life wasn't right
And you knew that too.
But I couldn't see any light
So thought it had to end soon.

Today's a dark day in your life
I can see the tears swelling in your eyes.
I didn't mean to keep you out of the loop
I just didn't want to tell you any lies.

I didn't over-dose
A simple bullet would do.
But I didn't know how much it would kill you
Just like it did me too.

Heaven's gate opened up for me.
But I want you to know.
That I always did care for you.
But please Sabrina.. Just let me go..

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2009-01-04 11:21 PM

Aw this is really sweet and well written! My only suggestion would be more imagery\figurative language but as it is its really good so its hard to know what the right balance is. This is powerful!
Nice write!
Rhia

Abbeon
Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 228
Curiousity, and wonder

2 posted 2009-01-05 01:05 PM

The thought off suicied is never so easy, people wont let you go. and your right, its hard to see any light. Well written. Im sorry for your lose, and as far as i know, as long as it doest premote killing your self as an answer you can mention suicide.

Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

3 posted 2009-01-05 06:49 PM

oh zach, i'm so sorry for all of you. this was wonderfully written, and every word is so true. i'm hoping and praying for you all and that it'll get better with time, please know that.
R.I.P indeed...

.:~]Julianna[~:.

waiting for you to notice me, touch me, hear me, love me...ask me for something other than gum.

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

4 posted 2009-01-27 10:10 PM

Awwwh, this is so sad. I'll be praying for you and your friend...Sometimes life gets so dark that death seems brighter. I fear my friends see it that way many times a day and I hope they don't decide to end it the way yours did. I don't find it a stupid choice as many do, but it is quite an ignorant one in my personal opinion. Best of wishes Zach....-GC

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