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spoiledsushi
New Member

since 2010-02-25

Posts 7
Tejas

0 posted 2010-02-25 06:20 PM

The fire in your eyes burns fiercely
I almost flinch at the sight of your pain
Leaving me breathless and so full of sorrow
This day will never end, where is tomorrow?
For to day will be gone and tomorrow is to come
Not for you, I'm afraid you'll be gone with the sun

Darkness begins to cover me, the stars no longer shine
It's all because you never said you would be mine

You left me to drown in my tears
Now I'll leave you to die with your fears

Leaving with all these scars full of memories
I'm battered and bruised, my heart in deep-freeze
Left cold and alone in this messed up world
I still remember your hair, soft and curled

Your eyes, filled with hope and sincerity
It's those features that make me feel guilty...

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2010-02-26 02:19 PM

nice write, I like the feel of it. It's like these thought are still so fresh in your mind.

Welcome to PIP Cara. I hope to read more soon.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

spoiledsushi
New Member

since 2010-02-25

Posts 7
Tejas

2 posted 2010-02-26 03:46 PM

Thank you! Yeah, it's just something I wrote up really quickly. I'm not really proud of it but it's decent enough to post, I think.

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2010-03-02 03:31 PM

"Your eyes, filled with hope and sincerity
It's those features that make me feel guilty..."

I thought it was good

Some tweaking here and there wouldn't do any harm, but it's definitely worth posting.

Do you really love me? Or should i just let go now??

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

4 posted 2010-03-03 02:39 AM

"You'll be gone with the sun" i love this line.
great write

-Lee

spoiledsushi
New Member

since 2010-02-25

Posts 7
Tejas

5 posted 2010-03-03 06:05 PM

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your feedback.

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