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Teen Poetry #9

A Desolate Heart

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

0 posted 2010-02-22 08:52 PM

In a dusty room packed with memories,
sits a girl,
her eyes like coal.
There's a dull feeling of bitterness,
it leaves the room eternally silent.

There used to be smiles here,
I can see them in the cracks,
so faint yet memorable;
just a summer breeze.

Swirling cobwebs dance,
they're evidence of abandonment.
The girl watches them,
wishing she could be so free.
{~~*~~}
-I couldn't think of anything else to add.

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2010-02-22 10:45 PM

No need to add on. Its perfect the way it is.

I like it. Keep on Keepin' on.

-Zach

Wish I could find love.. But all I find these days are superficial fish in shallow waters.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2010-02-23 05:45 PM

Thanks.

{~~*~~}

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

BrittanyJ
Member

since 2007-06-03

Posts 461
Come find me?

3 posted 2010-03-02 03:37 PM

I really like this the way it is

Do you really love me? Or should i just let go now??

spoiledsushi
New Member

since 2010-02-25

Posts 7
Tejas

4 posted 2010-03-03 06:48 PM

I enjoyed it a lot. Your descriptions are very effective for me. I'm excited to read more of your poems.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

5 posted 2010-03-03 07:29 PM

Thank you.

EmilyTheStrange
{~~*~~}
I have a pet unicorn...his name is Flavius, as in Flavius Belby. Flavius does not like gumballs..

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