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Dark Poetry #5

BETRAYAL

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

0 posted 2011-09-19 07:08 PM

i got the rhythm part idea from haf_alive i was inspired by it

My face is
Ghastly, hideous
And disoriented

My lips have
Turned blue,
Wrinkly and
Dehydrated

My eyes have
Turned crimson,
Opaque, and
Teary

Because
I have been
Cut, bruised and
Hurt deeply

It felt like
A knife
Penetrating
Through my heart
And soul

It felt like
I got hit
With a hammer
On my body
Giving me blue
Purple, bruises,
Making my veins
Pop out

These wounds
Are severe,
Heartbreaking,
And melancholy

Because I have
Been betrayed,
Deceived, and
Accused

Haf_Alive
Member

since 2011-09-04

Posts 56
High in the Sky

1 posted 2011-09-21 12:38 PM

wow, i'm so flattered! thank you!

your poem was deep and graphic and it really gave me some intense images about the pain that you were/are feeling. you really nailed it with this one. great work!

HAF

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

2 posted 2011-09-21 01:05 PM

no problem i loved your far cry and the rhythm to it after that i just thought of a poem and thanks

i'm glad you liked it

priyanka
Member

since 2009-06-15

Posts 216
india

3 posted 2011-10-09 11:32 AM

graphic!! vivid, I can see sharp contrast!

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

4 posted 2011-10-09 01:07 PM

thanks

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