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Dark Poetry #5

far cry

Haf_Alive
Member

since 2011-09-04

Posts 56
High in the Sky

0 posted 2011-09-04 04:56 PM

blank, cold, far from jolly
dark, alone, melancholy

broken, battered, bruised and sore
i beg for mercy, then come back for more

HAF

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

1 posted 2011-09-04 05:16 PM

Very sad, very powerfully expressed.

Love and peace.
Margherita

Haf_Alive
Member

since 2011-09-04

Posts 56
High in the Sky

2 posted 2011-09-04 08:02 PM

thank you Margherita! i was going to make it a longer poem, but i couldn't think of anything else that would get the message across so i just left it at that. i guess it works.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

3 posted 2011-09-04 11:01 PM

Sometimes the shorter poems are the most powerful poems.

Alison

ponderthepoetorrsx
Member

since 2011-06-25

Posts 284
U.S , Ca

4 posted 2011-09-04 11:10 PM

sometimes it is that which is short and to the point that pleases most of all

Haf_Alive
Member

since 2011-09-04

Posts 56
High in the Sky

5 posted 2011-09-04 11:29 PM

I'll keep that in mind, thanks guys!

HAF

LaGraceLa
Member

since 2011-01-30

Posts 243
Minnesota, USA

6 posted 2011-09-08 09:02 PM

Wow-
I am awestruck. Simply amazing, I can feel your words... and they cut.

rachel_anubis
Junior Member

since 2011-03-24

Posts 43

7 posted 2011-09-08 11:07 PM

Amazing that you captured such emotion and feeling in only four lines. Its amazing

ponderthepoetorrsx
Member

since 2011-06-25

Posts 284
U.S , Ca

8 posted 2011-09-11 08:27 PM

i do this all the time lol )= well i dont get bruised but you get the idea. great poem

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

9 posted 2011-09-14 07:39 PM

love it i loved the rhythm

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

10 posted 2011-09-20 10:10 PM

i loved the rhythm and also this rhythm inspired me to write a poem called betrayal thank you

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