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Dark Poetry #5

looking strong (for now)

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

0 posted 2011-05-18 05:37 PM

i would like some feedback for this poem
I look strong from the outside
I am fragile and weak from the inside
Just like a beautiful intricate glass
And slowly I am falling apart
And slowly I’m being shattered
There is something
That’s pestering me
Something that’s just
Clutching me back
Something that’s making
Me fall apart
Something that’s
Making me fragile
But I wonder
What it is?
I wonder
Why am I feeling like this?
Is it because someone betrayed me?
Is it because I can’t move on?
Why is it that I feel this way?
It feels like someone put
A weight on to my shoulders
It seems its some kind
Of burden that I can’t hold
On to anymore everyday
The weight keeps on increasing
Making my shoulders drop
What can I do to stop this?
What can I do to take this burden away?
What can I do?
I want to stop feeling this way
But I just can’t
Because its difficult
As if it seems like
I have been traumatized
And I have suppressed my feelings
Because when I try to let it out
My feelings won’t come out
When I try to scream and yell
From the inside and outside
My voice won’t come out
I don’t know why but it’s
Me who’s holding myself back
And this burden just keeps on
Increasing
And everyday I’m just falling
Apart inside and outside
But no one can tell
Because I try my best
To hide everything

LaGraceLa
Member

since 2011-01-30

Posts 243
Minnesota, USA

1 posted 2011-05-19 07:24 AM

Very nice poem, the one thing is that you do not need to write that you would like feedback. If people have it they will give it. But nice poem, good job.

maddorani
Member

since 2007-11-18

Posts 423
houston,tx

2 posted 2011-05-19 03:27 PM

you should check out my other poem called the desert plz read it hehe

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