As I lay you down to sleep.

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HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

0 posted 2010-11-27 09:01 PM

How can I save you,
If you cannot even see,
What you mean to your family,
Or what you mean to me?
You've never given yourself credit,
For the happiness that you give.
And if I have to give up my love,
For the sake of your son,
Then my life alone I'll live.
I don't know what it is,
That won't allow you to see,
The path that you are following,
Only leads to tragedy..

I've never been so...
I cannot even explain.
You make me feel the best kind of love.
At the same time, the worst kind of pain.
Why is it that you can't see,
What it is you have to lose?
When it comes to spending time with your son
Or fun with drugs,
It shouldn't be hard to choose.

Do they honestly blind you that much?
You no longer have the ability to Feel?
The feelings you have about Him,
Are not of his doing!
Your addiction to the drugs he shares with you,
Are what is making them real!
You ask me why I bother you so much about it.
Why I say so much to annoy you.
It's because I've watched the first person I've loved this much follow this path to the grave..
I Won't watch number two!

Clearly you are to blind to see.
So let me be your light!
You say it's not my responsibility.
But nothing is more worth the fight!
It's to late for me now,
To just turn and look away..
If you don't stop this train right now,
It will lead to your last day.
Knowing I had the knowledge,
To stop it in it's tracks.
The end results it will have on my life,
You coudln't imagine the impact...
I would never be able to forgive myself,
For allowing you to live this lie.
These thoughts would haunt and pain OUR souls,
Until the day we die.

Something needs to be done,
But I don't know what to do.
It seems every time I show concern,
It pushes me further from you.
Do you honestly believe it won't kill you!?
Or are you really just that selfish?
I bring up every point I can,
And still feel so damn helpless...
How can you not think of your Son!?
And what you mean to eachother?
He may have your folks to take care of him physically,
But mentally he needs his own damn mother!
I've never felt as much frustration,
That I do dealing with this mess.
But I'll never feel such sorrow, guilt, or hatred,
As the day I lay you down to rest.

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

1 posted 2010-11-27 10:42 PM

by "Him" I mean her boyfriend. Not her son..

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

[This message has been edited by HippinTrippy (11-29-2010 11:03 PM).]

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

2 posted 2010-11-27 11:04 PM

H

[This message has been edited by HippinTrippy (11-29-2010 11:05 PM).]

s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member

since 2003-10-26

Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

3 posted 2010-11-30 06:06 AM

I'm not sure I understand this....Who he is, who you as the writer are, and what the "son" has to do with it.

This line didn't flow with this piece, perhaps because of the length.

quote:
It's because I've watched the first person I've loved this much follow this path to the grave.

I hope this situation ends well for You, Him and the Son.

-Trina.

"A heart that can't feel its broken- can't heal."

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

4 posted 2010-11-30 12:05 PM

Thank you for your comments.

This poem was written about 10 minutes before I posted it here, and about 10 minutes after I hung up the phone.

I was talking to my ex girlfriend ( my best friend still ) She has a very self destructive attitude and used to be addicted to Heroin.
I found out she has been taking other opiates lately and it's a pattern I have seen her follow before which lead back to using. Her Son was the the only reason she stopped using so I am trying anything I can to get her to see that she is slipping again.

Meanwhile her boyfriend ("Him") [The man she was with before me, who also used with her] does nothing but crap on her emotions, and condones her use of these other drugs.. And sometimes even mentions they should get more H..  Needless to say a horrible influence.

That line.. probably could have used more work, but honestly the pen was flowing and I was lucky to keep up with my thoughts..  Heroin killed my father after I'd known him for only 2 years, and after 15+ years being clean.. I can't bare to see the woman I love follow that path, especialy when she also has a son, whom I have also come to love..

Sorry for the length of this.. But you are actualy the first person to discuss ANY of this with me besides her..  I am kind of lost in the situation as to what to do..

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

5 posted 2010-11-30 01:22 PM

I didn't realise you can only edit for so long.. I think this may flow better;

You ask me why I bother you so much about it.
Why I say so much to annoy you.
Well the first person I've loved This Much,
Followed this path to there grave..
I Won't watch number two!

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

Angel4aKing
Senior Member

since 2006-09-27

Posts 1372
USA

6 posted 2010-12-08 11:43 PM

Sounds like this person really needs a friend to get through the ordeal of addiction which can turn into a long and lonely road, at least she has parents to look out for her children she can count herself lucky there. I related strongly to the firt part due to something my son adn I are going through right now. Good POEM!!!!

~~~kingsangel~~~

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

7 posted 2010-12-09 11:49 AM

Thank you Angel, I'm sorry that you can relate to any of this..
Her having her folks to watch over him only hurts her more as she feels that her son will be fine if anything were to happen to her..
~I've stopped talking with her about it for the most part as I've felt I am only pushing her further away from me. So I will remain her friend and show her that she can get high and happy without drugs.
~ I apreciate your reply!

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

LaGraceLa
Member

since 2011-01-30

Posts 243
Minnesota, USA

8 posted 2011-02-25 08:35 AM

Horribly beautiful poem. I'm so sorry about the events that lead up to this poem, but really, I loved it. It was dark and hopeful and loving and angry and almost all emotions in one poem and I think that it is absolutly amazing. I love the fact that you posted it so quickly without editing it, it shows that the emotion just came out of you and onto paper, you did not need to work hard at it because you feel it. And I loved that some of the lines did not fit, it made the poem seem like it was broken, just like the mother, your ex girlfriend. Stunning poem, honestly, one of the best I have read in a long long time.

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

9 posted 2011-02-27 02:46 PM

Thank you for your kind words LaGraceLa, by far the best reply I've ever had from any poem I've written. If you like spontaneous writing you should keep an eye out for my other poems.
It's usualy the only way my inspiration comes.. spur of the moment and I'm usualy lucky to get it all down.

~ Thank you for apreciating it as it is. I didn't feel the need to try to correct the "out of place" line because it said to strongly what I was trying to get at.

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

10 posted 2011-02-27 02:48 PM

By the way;

My friend seems to be doing much better now.. However she is still with the same guy.. But I've changed the way I approach the subject so it isn't so hard to talk about now. =)

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

XGarapanX
Senior Member

since 2008-06-19

Posts 1435
Antarctica

11 posted 2011-03-24 10:41 PM

After reading the entire thread I am now enlightened to the poem with greater details. It has merit without the follow-up, though, because it was spontaneous and heartfelt.

·´~`·»Garapan«·´~`· "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

HippinTrippy
Member

since 2010-03-26

Posts 103
New York

12 posted 2011-03-27 11:33 AM

Thank you Garanpan. And Thanks everyone else for having me clear things up a little.

~ I think this poem is one of the.. I can't say one of my best, but I have never felt so much for a poem as I have this one.. Even re-reading it tends to tick me off a little =P

~ Though I am happy to say that my friend is doing much better as of late. Although at this point I doubt she'd tell me if she slipped up.. So one can only hope for the best.

Much love guys, thank you for the comments.

It's not easy being evil, in a world gone to hell.

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