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Dark Poetry #5
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Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana

0 posted 2010-06-16 11:04 AM


Black
I feel the black
I feel darkness all around me
Enclosing me, stifling me
Hot breath of pending death
The spectres return to haunt
With visions that tease and taunt

I feel like crying,
Or laughing like a child
With a frown,
I hang my head down
And know not whether
I’m coming or going
My senses take leave
Yet somehow I see forever
And it is grey
Grey as today

I’ve reached the point in life
Where it is a longer way back
Than where I am going
But I am going;
It is the only thing
I am sure of

© Copyright 2010 Chalmette Guy - All Rights Reserved
easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
1 posted 2010-06-19 02:13 PM


Depressing, of course, but a good read, and well-composed, as expected. As the phrase seems to be around these forums, "Thanks for sharing."

You've got good poetic talent. I know sometimes that springs from a melancholy nature, but please mine that talent without letting it get to you too much. Yes, that can be tough.

[This message has been edited by easy1 (06-19-2010 06:21 PM).]

Amaryllis
Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306
Mi now
2 posted 2010-06-19 07:15 PM


Very powerul!
~A

Eldest
Member
since 2010-06-15
Posts 177
Alabama
3 posted 2010-06-21 04:31 PM


The trick is to keep going, not let the blackness catch up.  Even if it seems to be catching up, run ahead and find some light in something or someone.
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
4 posted 2010-06-21 04:43 PM


Thank you guys for reading and your replies.
And your advice. lol

easy1
Senior Member
since 2010-05-22
Posts 1209
Southeastern USA
5 posted 2010-06-23 08:08 AM


When a poem says it all, what more is there to say?
Chalmette Guy
Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257
Louisiana
6 posted 2010-06-23 08:29 AM


I don't know easy...I am not sure if I said enough.
Pixie Wales
Junior Member
since 2010-07-29
Posts 21
UK
7 posted 2010-07-30 03:55 PM


While I agree with the others about always trying to find some light and not letting the darkness take you over completely, the majority of writing that I have done, has been done in my darkest hours.  Somehow, it makes it better for me.

I like your poem very much and hope that you find writing the darkness down, as cathartic as I do.

May your days become brighter very soon - it will happen

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2010-08-06 10:43 AM


I feel like I'm reading this not just with my eyes but with my very soul. I hope this is just outstanding writing and fantastic metaphors and that your life is bright and beautiful and you're far from the abyss... but your depiction of it is spot on. *S*
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