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Def-init
Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186
Toronto, Canada

0 posted 2009-08-04 04:08 PM



I myself have experienced two abortions.
Many, many poems are from the Childs point of view
or the point of view of losing something.
Here is my view.

Abortion #1,

I am sexually active without consequence,
but listened to the church choir.
It started during a night of passion,
with my dearly unloved.
Harmless fun or so I thought.
A new experience this world has gifted to me.
The best 30secs of my life, or so I thought
Some say, "An abortion is the only way".
I was 14 when I found out the news.
Far too young to experience the "blues".
So many thoughts in ignorant hues.
A baby? I am too young to have a clue.
Christ...my parents, still buy my shoes.
I'm confused, couldn’t handle a new small voice
but I knew enough to give her the choice
My innocence, lost...but I guess hers is lost to.
I will support the baby...somehow, I tell her.
Knowing on to myself I couldn’t.
Even at a young age my experience with foster care
was an ugly affair.
Where parents give up and declare there despair.
My life has so many road-blocks.
But I think about her.
I think about, the young me inside her.
I think about, the possibility of not being there for her.
I think about, what people will think about her, about us.
We just kept it to ourselves.
Soon I started to feel proud.
I started talking to the mound, on her belly.
But I forgot to look at her face.
An abortion was coming, coming with haste.

Her Christian family, a grandfather in the Navy!
Now wanted to talk to the father of her baby.
She told me that, I got scared.
My eyes watered, I became visually impaired.
She said the appointment, you have to make.
My period should never have been late!
I shake my head. But support her.
I hate her, but understand.
The public housing system is evil.
This life is just another waiting contestant, on "Cops"
Before the call, I stopped and wondered.
Was I making the right choice?
Should I fight for something not considered life?
It is her choice after all, I don’t want strife!
I stand next to her.
Stand next to the most painful procedure
she has ever gone through in life.
I hold her hand, I kiss her cheek.
The emotions welling up inside me...
I dare not think!
All I have are three months of memories,
for the three cells that were removed from her belly.
Not even a life, I realized that abortion
isn’t something you forget,
but it’s something you can live with.
Some people call this all trivial...
I call them naive and pitiful!
It's people like you...
that try and make us feel dirty,
ashamed, depressed and disgusting
with your ignorance and misunderstandings.
It's people like this that changed my life.
Not the abortion,
I put fist to bone over so many altercations.
Couldn’t concentrate in school,
once the secret was out.
My life forever changed,
to doubt.


Abortion #2

I'm 23,
I look at life as septic flesh on greener pastures.
Thoughts from my past, never haunt me!
On TV, I see 6 year olds
with fanatic antics running with bombs
No care in the world,
pulling the pin reciting the psalms.
I see hunger, I see famine, I see destruction.
God, I'm glad my past saw that abortion.
A new life. A grown-up life is here.
A new female in my life.
We have our problems, but who doesn’t?
She is my Queen, my essence.
My humanity she saved, my vanity she silenced
Nothing left in me is loathing.
Not even the wolf's in sheep's clothing.
Late one night I caught an expression.
In her eyes undisturbed self-possession.
Her breasts bare,
her stomach, she pushed out,
she grasped it with arm and hand and said
"Hey, how do I look?"
I remember, being puzzled.
I remember, being interested.
I remember the emotion in my heart when I asked.
"Are you serious?"
A nod, a smile.
She seemed so calm yet excited.
We talked.
I told her about my past,
told what I haven’t told anyone since that day.
Haven’t shed a tear since that day.
God I felt good after that day. she held me.
Told me everything happens for a reason.
There is a reason Rumpelstiltskin is a child's story.
I thought about that for awhile.
What a weird thing to say, I laughed.

A laugh that wouldn’t last.
Dark clouds form. Something I didn’t foresee
Thought everything was going great.
Till see decided differently.
The talk about abortion...
shows itself in our conversation.
I am not young anymore. I want this child.
She said she did to, but was overwhelmed with emotion.
We argued, o'boy did we argue.
At the end of it I still said it's your call.
So now I seem anything but calm.
My ex saw to that at full speed,
didn’t want a child to breastfeed
My seed's existence
never achieved the full distance.
I awake at night;
bed soaked from sweat from dreams
of sitting down with a daughter and a tea set.
and battling my son with chess set,
On a family trip catching carp with a fish net
These are the chains that bind and torture me.
Our relationship
was like the battle of the Coral Sea.
Cause I lost more than the south’s General E.Lee
It wasn’t fair that she choose the destiny of three
and removed the heart from deep inside of me.
These are my feelings.
But what she did wasn’t wrong.
I can say that now, but couldn’t then.
I let a great relationship drown
over something we were both not ready for.
It seems I acted more childish with age.
Or maybe it was regret, I had been here once.
I never thought I would again.
Another batch of cells down the drain.
But hey, millions more in my testicular vein!


- If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell -

© Copyright 2009 Brian M. Caouette - All Rights Reserved
LaGraceLa
Member
since 2011-01-30
Posts 243
Minnesota, USA
1 posted 2011-02-13 10:26 AM


Very interesting and beautifully writen, both of them. I liked the first poem better, but the second one was also wonderful.
XGarapanX
Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435
Antarctica
2 posted 2011-03-24 10:04 PM


Yes, a very touchy subject for many. For myself, I believe a child is given a spirit upon conception and is a valid and sacred life. But never being a young teen in trouble in that manner, I can only be thankful I never had to face that same choice, though I know my hard answer would have been... "No, I will not kill to erase my selfish indulgence. Adoption or I'll deal with it when it comes, but no murder.

·´~`·­»Garapan«­·´~`·  "Look! Crumbs on his jacketses... Heeee took it!"

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