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Dark Poetry #5
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I Fell in Love with a Man
| Dark Poetry #5 |
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I Fell in Love with a Man |
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Nette0178 New Member
since 2009-05-24
Posts 1 |
I fell in love with a man that though he didnt have the world to give me, he gave me his smile. I fell in love with a man that was patient when I was scared to love. Before him I always had to be the strong one,I always had to take care of everyone else but he show me that I could fall and he would be there to hold me up. I fell in love with a man that saw the beauty in me that I couldnt see for myself. I fell in love with a man that when he saw me in pain he knelt beside and tried to ease my tears. I fell in love with a man that made me laugh when I wanted to cry. I fell in love with a man that everyday would kiss me and my pregnant belly goodbye when he had to leave and hello when he returned. I fell in love with a man that would lay with his ear to my belly and try to hear our child's heartbeat.I fell in love with this man but now he's long gone. All that's left of the man I loved is you. I hate you because you took him away from me. I hate you because you took him away from our daughter before she had a chance to know the man I fell in love with. I hate you because all thats left of the man I fell in love with is the man that he became. I hate you because you took the life of a good man and replaced with your dark, evil and twisted soul. I hate you because I once loved you but your no longer the man I fell in love with. |
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| © Copyright 2009 Nette0178 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Chocolateme Junior Member
since 2009-03-12
Posts 15Tx |
Thats a beautiful poem. I usually don't like poems that don't rhyme. But I can relate so well to what you're saying. Welcome to Piptalk. *A Taste Of Chocolate* |
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Abbeon Member
since 2006-11-30
Posts 228Curiousity, and wonder |
Very good poem, very descriptive. And i know how it feels. And what it is like. I hope, that he Can change for the good again. one little critique, i found it a little hard to read because it needed a bit more structure, and i'm bad for that as well. Words have power, Im going to unleash the power of my soul. |
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XGarapanX Senior Member
since 2008-06-19
Posts 1435Antarctica |
Structure, yes. But the honesty is always so beautiful. ·´~`·»Brett«·´~`· |
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Def-init Member
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186Toronto, Canada |
This came off more as as "short story" rather then a poem. But regardless it was an interesting read. Welcome to PIP. - If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell - |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
I agree the structure was a little difficult to read, but regardless I really enjoyed it. Welcome! ~Alli~ |
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Astrophial New Member
since 2009-08-10
Posts 6 |
I really liked the message, and the way that it didn't really have any breaks or stopping points, it just flowed. |
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