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Dark Poetry #5
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Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32

0 posted 2009-07-22 09:36 PM

I've written before, but this is the first time i've ever joined a place to share anything.. Looking forward to reading everybody elses stuff and commenting, any comments to help me out are greatly appreciated

A Life with no future in it...
Has me wanting to put an end to it...
Love struggle, my girl is finaly moving past
thought i had been there done that, but i'm last
I've got a mind that keeps me under wraps
But i've got anger that keeps me trapped
No one to talk too, no one to confide in
At wits end, just wanting to give in..

Life is black, i'm only striving for grey
I sit back, hope for light to show the way
Instead I Pop drugs to free my mind
crime minds shine, who's dying is the kind
This world is sick, cold, and twisted
Happy memories faded, like they never existed
Drinkin smokin poppin, going downhill now
See the change in me, its like how?

Living proof nice guys finish last
That me is dead, buried in the past
Somethin tells me that i'm hellbound
To be lost forever, drinking til i'm drowned
19 straight days drinking, has got me thinking
That i'm weakening, end it without blinking
So i sit here... And take a deep breathe
I have to fight this.. with everything i have left

[This message has been edited by Swisha (07-22-2009 10:17 PM).]

© Copyright 2009 Swisha - All Rights Reserved
since 2008-12-03
Posts 186
Toronto, Canada
1 posted 2009-07-22 11:56 PM

Very nice first drop man.
That was great. Solid rhymes great substance. A lot of to be quoted in this.
Been awhile since I have seen a strong rhyme in a poetry piece. Damn, I gotta join in.
Gotta add to this piece, it is dope as hell.

I feel your frustration.
Joining "PIP" has proven
the piston igniting your passion
will never feel isolation.
Pythons and questions spark
the season of Shamans.
Poetry in a cauldron,
cotton lining the coffin.
A shrunken Shogun cheapens the craven.
You’re emotionally exhausted,
you emotionally lost it.
I’m here for advice or information.
If even for a friendly conversation.
Show no regret. We all play life’s roulette.
But me and you can rhyme like a duet.
Lately, even day to day
I hope you never stray.
I can feel you in dismay,
let’s set those thoughts ablaze
Life has a habit of putting
visions in a haze,
feeling stuck like lost in a maze!
Transcend your bounds,
hunting the hare with hounds!
This journey is a new beginning.
A new form of beauty without cruelty
There isn't anymore life can offer.
In heaven the best gift is being a sponsor
Looking down, foreshadowing with protection,
No, affection never ends.
It ascends your spirit
to new heights and mends.

I'm decimating dexterously
devastating this mediorcor diction,
I done demonstrated development
exercising elusive English with elevated eloquence.
Consider me the nucleus not originator,
an optical orchestrator.
My compositions casually
create chronic conditions
in countless casualties.
Leaving dudes totally transparent
standing there with out merit.
People call me mental,
if anything I am mentally amazing.
I spit verbal hazing.
I cant see the sun,
cause I'm stuck in my own shading.
Logically I'm a living lyrical legend with long-term versatility.
I have military capability without showing responsibility.
My natural ability
of agility and irrational hostility
equals a morbid compatibility.
The rhymes I write are dark...\
like spitted scripts from the middle-ages.
I prefer a green theme.
As if The Matrix and weed mated
I'm the Robin-Hood,
that robbed-the-hood and conquered-the-sheriff
So call on us. The colossus's in the coliseum
that ciphered-the-snuff.
Enough is enough but I cant stop writing.
The pooling of blood on a rivals face.
Causes nightly visions
that don't diminish the grace.
Yet, when the abrupt proclamation promised
is the prophecy of police brutality.
I amplified my appearance and caused jealousy
When I Realized I could victimize on a rhyme scheme.
Melt down scythes into triple beams.
My style becomes an opiate derivative
Every time I see a thug acting massively sensitive.
Most must not realise,
Def has the biggest testicles.
Cause they couldn't see me coming
even if they were a vagina with spectacles.
Anyway enough for now.
I'll end these annals with visuals of
turtles in urinals. Yelling loudly at
squirrels with pistols
writing novels with pencils....!!!!

- If I cant bend Heaven, I shall move Hell -

[This message has been edited by Def-init (07-23-2009 12:00 AM).]

Junior Member
since 2009-07-22
Posts 32

2 posted 2009-07-23 02:49 AM

Thanks for the feed man, appreciate it. Glad to hear you were feelin it.. I really liked the addiction one you did, i've been workin on somethin for my own addiction tonight since i read that one. I'll drop it in a day or two, it's gonna be sick..

Nice add on also, i like alot of the vocab you throw in and how you mix it up.

I’m here for advice or information.
If even for a friendly conversation.
-- Throw that very first line (frustration) and make one last line, and that'd be a sick 4 line rhyme

Def has the biggest testicles.
Cause they couldn't see me coming
even if they were a vagina with spectacles.
--i got a good laugh on that line haha

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