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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2020-06-16 09:44 AM


Punctuation is all over the place I think. This needed life so it's unedited for now.


Hello?
Is this you?
I'm too far down
and right now
your light blinds.
Something in your eyes
makes a craving to tear into
the covering material you wear.
This cheap soft pleather  
will only enrage me
with its lack of strength
and the reminiscence
of copycat fantasies.
So I smile
sarcastic
challenging
changeling
bringing disorder
to your perfectly practiced subtlety.
I am not
one of weak
casually standing in line.
I step forward
right into your anger,
that slightly controlled
voice through teeth
when "had enough"
starts to shroud reason,
and dare you to stop
the emerging monster
that wants to feast
until your careful persona
gives
with the accompanying sound
of ripping.
I'll unzip skins
mercilessly
until you show me
without words
what you
are really after.


"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

© Copyright 2020 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2020-06-17 12:14 PM


Read through this, Jenn, and am in a time press at the moment but want to say I love your title....and the fact you smile before you bite.  All *good demons do, right?  

There is a visible two-fold need here to me A will to punish, and an accompanying need to be punished for it.

Trying my hardest to imagine the outfit you wear to bring forth both those aspects at once?

Michael


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
2 posted 2020-06-17 12:04 PM



Micheal,

Thank you.  

I'm glad the title grabbed attention.
Demons. Of course they smile. Don't you smile before you feast?

The need to punish comes from someone holding back as if I'm not important enough to "stand out" to.

There isn't a need to be punished. I wouldn't want punishment for wanting someone to open up. If they claim that I'm different and more important to them, I expect to be treated better as far as them "being real".

The outfit worn is stubbornness. Not usually pretty depending on how far I'm willing to push to know what I wish to know.  


"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
3 posted 2020-06-17 09:42 PM


I'm smiling now... you wear your feisty well.  

Michael

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2020-06-18 03:57 PM


Michael,

Thank you. I do try.


"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

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