Open Poetry #43 |
Denouement |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I can't stay the hand of this: the truth of my indifference. I can't fake an interest nor risk the burden of more sin. It's not a grudge. It's not a beast of hatred that gnaws hungrily. I simply cannot pay the cost of a party for long lost dreams denied in finality. I should send a funeral wreath. "In abstentia" regrets? A fragment stamped as sentence is still a fragment, if it is the truth of our selves incomplete lacking punctuated dots a third of an ellipsis, caught as if I'd died expressing it unaware that I was "done" I meant to write two endings---one denouement with a few options -- easier to sell a thought inherent possibility than dreams denied: finality.. Hands dirtied by the toss of earth upon the coffin's buried worth surrounded by the astroturf with chairs aligned for the bereaved shaded from the sun or rain, as we take care to walk the walk unable to avoid the graves of all the others we have laid to rest with so much care because our future lies beneath our feet. Then we go to wandering amongst the stones (the last ones thrown) "I think he's somewhere over there..." (He was hard to find, alive.) He'd hate this ritual, I know. I found him and I placed a stone just in case he wasn't "home". A calling card from me, atones all the times that I did not. Something solid comforts me before I board the limousine, a gray one, for the family a color chosen thoughtfully as if discretion's retrospect might impact directionals of where forever dwells. |
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© Copyright 2008 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Powerful paint! I heard taps play...that was the humor of me... yet, my heart trembled with the tenderness in which you placed the rose. Hugs |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I can only hope someone will say that I was hard to find too when I was alive Nicely done K, and a very vivid calling card was left this day by you. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
k~ The tender poignancy of this darts behind my eyes, waiting for a place to exit~ 'A calling card from me, atones all the times that I did not.' Gentle *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I walked every step and thought-moment of this with you, though it is an oldie as you said. I felt a thousand emotions and non-emotions crashing against each other, all echoed in my own life, and so I believe I understand, even if I am wrong. Hugs, Karen - Owl |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Karen, I am impressed by the thoughts you express here on this melancholic occasion. Strange how cemeteries can grow and expand almost like second towns and how so often we wander and search for someone unsure if we will ever locate them. I have experienced this just a few days ago when - after years - I accompanied my husband to find his father's grave in his hometown, I feared we would get lost and never find the way out again ... and it was so extremely hot I thought we could just drop dead there and then ...! But he found him, maybe he guided him from Above?! Shuddering slightly ... You are incredibly good! Love, Margherita |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh m'lovely ladies... This one is new (I think) but I've worked the death theme to death, so it probably feels as old as I do today. Thank you all for reading this, even though I confess I didn't put a whole lot of work into it (meaning I didn't try for a "style" or re-arrange it a bunch) it just sorta fell outta the ceiling, and into my head and passed through my fingertips to...here. I appreciate your comments and time, very much. If I were a better poet, I could express how much I love you all. I just don't think it can be done. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
It is a good poem Kid, wrenching. Maybe like Townes Van Zandt said, you were just sitting in the right place when it was passing through. Don't worry about forever, It dwells in all of us. s'Lainte! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this touches...for many reasons. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
The eternity of forever dwells within a capsule of time that none of us own except in our memories. It is our choice if we drift in it or swim in it. It is always a pleasure to read one of your works. Big hugs. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"A calling card from me, atones all the times that I did not." This touches deeply, Karen... Love ya lots, my sis... "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." --Jimi Hendrix |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
You always blow me away to somewhere, Ser.... enjoyed "...buried way beneath the sheets |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Serenity! you do got that 'way with words' down for ya.. (Explaing what I ment)-> You got a way with words Karen lol Excellent Write! ARCTIC WIND |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Hi Karen, glad I stopped in long enough to take in some of your resent work. I thought the opening could of used a little more of that..? Hmmmm., Karen detail storytellin stuff you do. best friends best finds dale |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Those poems that just "fall on our head" seem to come from a special place and therefore touch the heart and mind in ways that often surprise us. This seems to be that kind of poem, Karen. Ida |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hey sweetie... I know awesome is an overused word, but I'm slightly overused, myself. Incredible sounds in this one. |
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Dark Star Member
since 2008-02-20
Posts 392Lost in your eyes |
nice thoughts |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks again, everyone! |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...So glad too see you are doing better and able to write. And who shall be the last to walk the walk when you are the last one to go. Who will cast the final stone shovel the last bit of dirt onto your final resting place Will those yet to come read your tombstone will they bring flowers to mark the place you now call home another ending in abstentia I pray i'm not the last cause then the birds will pick my bones Just some thoughts that came to me from your magical words...Paul [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (08-28-2008 11:06 AM).] |
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scorpio eyes shut Junior Member
since 2008-07-24
Posts 31kerala, india |
"A calling card from me, atones all the times that I did not." we are all fated to live with our little guilts...you have put it in a very lucid perspective. thank you. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"our future lies beneath our feet" That statement and it's truth shut me down for a few minutes. Outstanding as usual. I love you madly. "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
He'd hate this ritual, I know. I found him and I placed a stone just in case he wasn't "home". You are so very gifted my friend. Hoping some one places a stone upon my grave of ashes. jo |
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