Dr. 'Deer and poor ol' Toerag

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2008-12-03 03:47 PM

It's been awhile, I know, so I thought I would drop in and recount a story we have all surmised defines why 'Deer and Toe are so confused.

Relatives

Balladeer, the psychiatrist, visited a ‘Bama institution,
Where he found Toerag, a patient, wallowing in confusion.
So ‘Deer asked Toe to describe the nature of his lowly state,
And the following explanation is what I’m here now to relate.

“It started when I got married.  I should have seen it coming,
I married an older woman with a grown daughter. (My stepdaughter was quite stunning.)
My daddy came to visit us, and soon became my stepdaughter’s lover.
When they got married my stepdaughter became my new stepmother.

Soon after that we had a baby girl, a half-sister in my step-daughter’s life,
But she’s my daddy’s sister-in-law, because my step-daughter’s my daddy’s wife.
Since my new daughter is my stepmother’s half-sister, she is my new aunt, too.
Remember she’s  still my daughter, but I am also her nephew.

Since my wife is my step-mother’s mother, I am her step-grandson too,
But since I was married to my grandmother, I’d become a grandfather without a clue.
I can’t keep it all sorted out, who is related to who, and how, and why,
I’m disturbed being my own grandfather, and calling my grandmother my wife.”

“But things went bad in a hurry,” Toe continued with his head in a whirl,
“My Daddy sent me an announcement.  They had twins, a boy and a girl!”
Deer had a strange look in his eye, sort of far off and in seclusion.
“Move over, Toe,” was all ‘Deer said.  Now they’re both in that institution.

Toe shoulda kept living in sin with his old girlfriend, Sally Sheep.
He coulda saved himself and his buddy ‘Deer a lot of mental grief.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

1 posted 2008-12-03 04:48 PM

Good heavens!!! I know I'll enjoy your poem... but first... *G*

I simply must retire with a fit of the vapors... for you must surely be a ghost! LOL

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

2 posted 2008-12-03 04:52 PM

Ah, sailor!!! I don't know what breeze blew you in... but I'm sure glad it did!!!

I wonder if there might be room in that institution for one more... my eyes were whirling and my brain twisted more with each stanza... That's a family tree that should be cut! LOL

Absolutely delightful!!! Welcome back, you ole peg-legged scalawag! *G*

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2008-12-03 11:11 PM

Good grief! The sailor has returned!
His ship returned at last.
I thought his days of tired old jokes
Were buried in the past.

Hey, Toerag, look who happened by.
We're gonna have some fun.
Our whipping boy is on the scene
Just aching for a pun.

I'm feeling sorry for the boy.
We'll bring him to his knees
And make him wish he'd never left
The safety of the seas.

Look at the bright side. If he's here
We'll put up with the guy
As long as our boy brought along
The gorgeous Lorelei.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

4 posted 2008-12-03 11:36 PM

sitting all alone, I feel comfortable enough now to laugh all the way through this (having moved to the South, I find I have neighbors with this same provenance, and have trained myself to be more polite)...turning his head; however, he laughs heartily once more

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

5 posted 2008-12-04 12:16 PM

Gooood to see the ole kitty kicker is back and in good form. latearrival

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member

since 2008-02-28

Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA

6 posted 2008-12-04 06:45 AM

Oh my! I can't believe my eyes. I was just thinking about you. It is so good to see you back. Sue hope you stay for a while. I for one have missed all the fun.

As for this poem? I can see why poor ole Deer, and Toe are so confused. I will have to come back and reread this one again.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

7 posted 2008-12-04 04:24 PM

Well shiver me timbers!!!....Hey 'Deer'..you smell some old rotting tuna?...

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2008-12-04 05:03 PM

*sighing happily* And life is good... Santa came early and brought scalawags... all THREE of them! *S*

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

9 posted 2008-12-04 10:57 PM

Hello, all you people,
And "HI" to Toerag, too.
I see your keepers are on the job,
And you're still in the zoo.

I've been away for far too long,
It's been awhile since I've been here.
My poetic talents have grown poor,
Now I write like Baladeer.

My Lorelei is well and happy,
She still turns my head when she smiles.
I've learned so much about her,
We'll be together for quite awhile.

I'll drop in from time to time
To see how things turn out.
And while I'm gone 'Deer and Toe
Can hold the fort no doubt.

As for the rest of you - you may have changed your names, but you are still as sweet, just like Shakespeare would say.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

10 posted 2008-12-05 11:55 AM

Lorelei is well and happy?....I'm so sorry, I thought she was still with you?...Have missed ya so much Mike, hope all's well with ya all and hope you do drop in more often......I really miss this place too, don't frequent very often...yall take care now ya hear?

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2008-12-05 02:21 PM

I see SILVER bells is back! It's been too LONG, JOHN!
Me ribs 'r aching from all yer rib-ticklin' humour!
Ya haven't lost your touch, Touched One! hardy har har
Gosh, going through Toe's family tree, I just learned that Toe is my great grandfather's grand nephew and my second cousin twice removed. Could we still git hitched?!? lol

Seriously speaking, Mike, this was a treat and a half and it is sooo good to see you back and in such fine comedic form!

Love 'n laughs ~ 'n relatives!
Linda Lou

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

12 posted 2008-12-05 03:53 PM

Sending my very best to you and Lorelei for the Holiday. Great to see you - you old skalliwag!

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

13 posted 2008-12-13 02:12 AM

I read this the other day and just grinned. After reading the poetic exchanges in the archives of PiP, I knew we were in for some fun.

Welcome back.

Alison

YoungatHeart2
Member

since 2008-12-12

Posts 81

14 posted 2008-12-16 12:37 PM

Mike, Nice to see you have not lost your touch. It's been a long time since I read one of your clever poems. You certainly have a way of twisting words to make them fit just so. Thanks for entertaining us.
Merry Christmas.
YaH

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

15 posted 2008-12-16 05:58 AM

Old home week - gad does that mean we're all old? Sigh...

Nice to read you again sir. Give my best to your lovely lady!

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

16 posted 2008-12-16 11:00 AM

Ahhh,good old fashioned humor. I've missed that. Welcome home Sailor.

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

17 posted 2008-12-16 05:33 PM

enjoyed

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