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Open Poetry #43
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Dr. 'Deer and poor ol' Toerag
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Dr. 'Deer and poor ol' Toerag |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
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It's been awhile, I know, so I thought I would drop in and recount a story we have all surmised defines why 'Deer and Toe are so confused. Relatives Balladeer, the psychiatrist, visited a ‘Bama institution, Where he found Toerag, a patient, wallowing in confusion. So ‘Deer asked Toe to describe the nature of his lowly state, And the following explanation is what I’m here now to relate. “It started when I got married. I should have seen it coming, I married an older woman with a grown daughter. (My stepdaughter was quite stunning.) My daddy came to visit us, and soon became my stepdaughter’s lover. When they got married my stepdaughter became my new stepmother. Soon after that we had a baby girl, a half-sister in my step-daughter’s life, But she’s my daddy’s sister-in-law, because my step-daughter’s my daddy’s wife. Since my new daughter is my stepmother’s half-sister, she is my new aunt, too. Remember she’s still my daughter, but I am also her nephew. Since my wife is my step-mother’s mother, I am her step-grandson too, But since I was married to my grandmother, I’d become a grandfather without a clue. I can’t keep it all sorted out, who is related to who, and how, and why, I’m disturbed being my own grandfather, and calling my grandmother my wife.” “But things went bad in a hurry,” Toe continued with his head in a whirl, “My Daddy sent me an announcement. They had twins, a boy and a girl!” Deer had a strange look in his eye, sort of far off and in seclusion. “Move over, Toe,” was all ‘Deer said. Now they’re both in that institution. Toe shoulda kept living in sin with his old girlfriend, Sally Sheep. He coulda saved himself and his buddy ‘Deer a lot of mental grief. |
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| © Copyright 2008 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Good heavens!!! I know I'll enjoy your poem... but first... *G* I simply must retire with a fit of the vapors... for you must surely be a ghost! LOL |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ah, sailor!!! I don't know what breeze blew you in... but I'm sure glad it did!!! I wonder if there might be room in that institution for one more... my eyes were whirling and my brain twisted more with each stanza... That's a family tree that should be cut! LOL Absolutely delightful!!! Welcome back, you ole peg-legged scalawag! *G* |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Good grief! The sailor has returned! His ship returned at last. I thought his days of tired old jokes Were buried in the past. Hey, Toerag, look who happened by. We're gonna have some fun. Our whipping boy is on the scene Just aching for a pun. I'm feeling sorry for the boy. We'll bring him to his knees And make him wish he'd never left The safety of the seas. Look at the bright side. If he's here We'll put up with the guy As long as our boy brought along The gorgeous Lorelei.  |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
sitting all alone, I feel comfortable enough now to laugh all the way through this (having moved to the South, I find I have neighbors with this same provenance, and have trained myself to be more polite)...turning his head; however, he laughs heartily once more |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Gooood to see the ole kitty kicker is back and in good form. latearrival |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Oh my! I can't believe my eyes. I was just thinking about you. It is so good to see you back. Sue hope you stay for a while. I for one have missed all the fun. As for this poem? I can see why poor ole Deer, and Toe are so confused. I will have to come back and reread this one again. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well shiver me timbers!!!....Hey 'Deer'..you smell some old rotting tuna?... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
*sighing happily* And life is good... Santa came early and brought scalawags... all THREE of them! *S* |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Hello, all you people, And "HI" to Toerag, too. I see your keepers are on the job, And you're still in the zoo. I've been away for far too long, It's been awhile since I've been here. My poetic talents have grown poor, Now I write like Baladeer. My Lorelei is well and happy, She still turns my head when she smiles. I've learned so much about her, We'll be together for quite awhile. I'll drop in from time to time To see how things turn out. And while I'm gone 'Deer and Toe Can hold the fort no doubt. As for the rest of you - you may have changed your names, but you are still as sweet, just like Shakespeare would say. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Lorelei is well and happy?....I'm so sorry, I thought she was still with you?...Have missed ya so much Mike, hope all's well with ya all and hope you do drop in more often......I really miss this place too, don't frequent very often...yall take care now ya hear? |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I see SILVER bells is back! It's been too LONG, JOHN! Me ribs 'r aching from all yer rib-ticklin' humour! Ya haven't lost your touch, Touched One! hardy har har Gosh, going through Toe's family tree, I just learned that Toe is my great grandfather's grand nephew and my second cousin twice removed. Could we still git hitched?!? lol Seriously speaking, Mike, this was a treat and a half and it is sooo good to see you back and in such fine comedic form! Love 'n laughs ~ 'n relatives! Linda Lou  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sending my very best to you and Lorelei for the Holiday. Great to see you - you old skalliwag! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I read this the other day and just grinned. After reading the poetic exchanges in the archives of PiP, I knew we were in for some fun. Welcome back. Alison |
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YoungatHeart2 Member
since 2008-12-12
Posts 81 |
Mike, Nice to see you have not lost your touch. It's been a long time since I read one of your clever poems. You certainly have a way of twisting words to make them fit just so. Thanks for entertaining us. Merry Christmas. YaH |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Old home week - gad does that mean we're all old? Sigh... Nice to read you again sir. Give my best to your lovely lady! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Ahhh,good old fashioned humor. I've missed that. Welcome home Sailor. Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed  |
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