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Open Poetry #43

Lost Battle Of The Mind

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

0 posted 2008-11-20 12:45 PM

I long the day my heart shall find
A selfless world in which to dwell
A way to leave this hell behind

Biligerent noises are my proxy now
Combat in my head symbolically
Fighting away the pain I accidentally allow

Never to deliver a constant defense
To the whispers of voices lost and arrogant
I choose instead a league of convenient suspense

My teardrops cease in the unalterable battle
The heat of the explosions causing trouble
My side loses the guessable prattle

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

1 posted 2008-11-20 01:12 PM

GC..just hang in there...seems most of the world is feeling this way now and we just have to keep on keeping on. Enjoyed your view here.

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

2 posted 2008-11-20 06:36 PM

Thank you, Stranger. I'm glad you understand my meaning in this short piece. I feared readers would not be able to interpret it.

sewasham
Senior Member

since 2006-09-11

Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA

3 posted 2008-11-20 08:43 PM

GC I believe this is the first work I've read of yours and I'm impressed. Nice rhyme scheme in this thought provoking write. Good work. Take care and Have fun. Steve

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

4 posted 2008-11-20 09:39 PM

Thanks! =]] Your opinion means a lot to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

5 posted 2008-11-20 09:47 PM

interesting write and interesting rhyme scheme...need to read again...always a good sign...

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

6 posted 2008-11-20 09:53 PM

Steavenr, thank you. The rhyme scheme was fun to write and took some time to get right; therefore, I'm extremely glad you appreciate it.

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