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Open Poetry #43
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WindWalker
Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 1218


0 posted 2008-11-10 09:42 PM


Hallelujah
            
City streets can be colder than stone
when you're young, vulnerable and all alone
nor are they ever paved with the rich man's gold
when threadbare clothes leave you wet and cold.

She comes to a familiar doorway
somewhere in the night when she's lost her way
and remembers all the days of her short life
how desperately she'd run from strife
knocked on strangers' doors for protection
then ran away again from every nightmare.

The man at the desk knows her as she tosses her hood
approaches and puts her hand on the worn wood,
and knows the words she'll say before she forms them:
"I need a place for the night, do you have a cheap room?"
He smiles at her - or is it a leer?
and as he speaks, she can again smell the beer --
"I have cheap - forty dollars for a night at the inn -
and I have free if you'll let me tuck you in."
and his hand slips over her wrist
and her skin tells him, for the mill she will ever be grist.

He hands her two sheets and a pillow case:
she grabs but he says, "Easy, no need for haste."
Here's the key - it's three - o - four -
and don't forget - don't lock the door."

He watches her walk to the rickety stairs,
shoulders slumped, but doesn't feel her despair
and in her head as she steps on the first rung
she hears the lines from an old song she'd heard sung:

"Baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked the floor
used to live alone before I knew ya
But I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Our love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"

(Leonard Cohen last stanza)

© Copyright 2008 Sharran WindWalker - All Rights Reserved
Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
1 posted 2008-11-10 10:06 PM


Yo WindWalker,

This is very good work.

Leonard Cohen is way cool.

Bobby

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2008-11-11 01:46 PM


Sad comentary on life but Bobby's right, this is "way cool and so is Leonard Cohen.
                          Ida

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2008-11-11 02:48 PM


A sad song that is sung far too often ~ but you (and Leonard Cohen) have told it well.

You wrote it so convincingly, I almost felt as though I was the one dispairingly walking up those rickety stairs with my shoulders slumped...

Excellent writing!


EA

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2008-11-11 11:41 PM


Fine writing...James
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2008-11-11 11:43 PM


WindWalker - felt like I was there while reading this. Nice write...

BC

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
6 posted 2008-11-12 12:17 PM


powerfully written!

applause!!

LindsayP
Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria
7 posted 2008-11-12 10:54 PM



Wonderfully written but sad that it's so true, being renacted more times than one

could count. A very vivid picture painted in words. You wrote it well Wind Walker.
Top accolades for this one.

Lindsay

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