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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #43 |
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Yellow, Orange, and Brown |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Yellow, Orange and Brown Beginning with the first sunrise Captured by the trees so wise Laughter spirited the air Blushed in heights of nightshade Turning as the cool played Songs of harvest fair To the tune of harvest moon Waiting for the winter soon Brave finale dare Covered coat of drifting white Tucking into dreams held tight Waiting on the yellow unaware Spring would skip a step before the fair Hoping for the sunrise just to square Eased upon the flowers sent to spare Autumn from becoming too austere Copyright Kkh 10/31/08 [This message has been edited by ThisDiamond (11-02-2008 11:08 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Kathleen Harris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
in my own thoughts and poetic dreams this morning, enjoying the colors knowing soon the harsh winds will take them you take my thoughts and weave them into beautiful colorful soul windows |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
beautiful description of the change of seasons...such a lovely write |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
K, isn't it beautiful when natures shows all of her colors and allows us to lie on a soft bed of leaves and dream? Life has been interesting lately.... |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
"Blushed in heights of nightshade" A lovely tribute to fall you have served here. I do so love the gorgious red red color of my maple tree in my yard right now. Just glorious. Janette always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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Freely_expressing Member
since 2008-10-16
Posts 69NSW, Australia |
Hey there, really liked the images you had for autumn!  I'm sorry to be a spoilsport but I'm a freak for rhythm, hehe. It would make your writing that much better (this is just for me) if the syllables were a little more regular. They vary from 5 at minimum to 10 at most which can be a little disrupting to the flow..making it seem like some lines should be halved or others put together...again that's just me. Don't get me wrong that is still a great poem |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Thank you for your comments. You all contribute to my constant change and growth here. The rhythm of this poem is intentional, as the change of seasons. I agree with comment about flow, but autumn is, you know?! Thank you all. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
A beautiful Autumn Write TD! ARCTIC WIND |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Such a Celtic lilt to this, I found myself reviewing all the old forms to see if I could figure out which it might be! There's something about that shortened line at the end of each triplet, that's very appealing to me. I haven't experimented with the Celtic and Welch forms much, but when I have, I've found them fascinating and strangely powerful. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Yes Springs shoulder touches on Autumn's shivering frame..I feel this |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Vivid images and nicely portrayed. I love the rhyme scheme but of course I am a sucker for rhyme anyway. The way each ending line punched at you to tie into the previous verse's last line worked for me. The flow isn't as off beat as it seems if you read aloud with some natural pauses. I enjoyed. |
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