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Open Poetry #43

cove of white stone

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2008-10-31 06:08 AM

we were the vanilla laughter
that drizzled down an ocean's chin
when she was a playful voyeur
with wanting to be us in her eyes

the sand on your footprints smiled
as you walked barefoot to your neckline
always turning around to see my smile
and why I walked behind you on purpose

you leaned under the imaginary palm tree
against the concrete that heard highways
and said your lips were broken bad
and maybe a kiss would heal them better

we found other broken places after
and spent the hours making adjustments
you said the ocean was talking about us
and was making sounds like we did

inside our minds while holding hands

_______________

daark (white stone series)

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

1 posted 2008-10-31 08:55 AM

This had such a fine scented texture that I caught myself licking my lips to check and see if they were chapped. This piece took my breath away.

BRAVO!

Janette

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2008-10-31 03:42 PM

ms Janette...thanks so much

steavenr
Member Elite

since 2003-11-17

Posts 4058

3 posted 2008-10-31 05:22 PM

romantic write with a strong opening, tightly woven to an exquisite ending...enjoyed, a pleasure to read

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

4 posted 2008-10-31 05:38 PM

Stevenr...thanks my friend

tsu
Junior Member

since 2008-10-20

Posts 29
u.k.

5 posted 2008-10-31 06:54 PM

the subtlety of your words captivates my imagination (again)!

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

6 posted 2008-11-01 05:01 AM

simply divine Mr Daark...

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

7 posted 2008-11-01 06:45 AM

tsu, thank you for reading and commmenting

__________________

ms r&b, thanks lady

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