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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2008-10-11 11:07 PM

At first frost,
the river trimmed
in thick veneer

your kiss, lay buried
deep within
a pocket of dreams

its dulling tones
replace lament
with apathy

and i no longer
strain to hear you.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (10-13-2008 11:27 PM).]

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

1 posted 2008-10-11 11:57 PM

Yo dear Inkedgoddess,

This is very nice. It's always good to be humble; however, it's always a good idea to capitalize your first person singular personnel pronoun "I".

Everyone is having it done.

Bobby

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

2 posted 2008-10-12 02:44 AM

Just reading your critique message where you say you can "take it". What strikes me is that you can WRITE it! You are a poet par excellence! And it is not those 4 gorgeous kitties in your photo that make me say that.

This poem carries a heavy burden of sadness, exquisitely expressed. May glorioius sunshine literal and metaphorical lift your spirits.

- Owl

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2008-10-12 04:24 AM

This is so intense that it hurts, and yet again it is a masterful poetic performance.

Love,
Margherita

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

4 posted 2008-10-12 06:30 AM

ms inky..I would smile if I knew you were looking

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

5 posted 2008-10-12 09:13 AM

Perfect!

"...no longer.."

I am endlessly waiting for no longer.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

6 posted 2008-10-12 03:25 PM

inkedgoddess - enjoyed reading this over and over. Much meaning here, and such touching words and thoughts...

BC

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

7 posted 2008-10-13 08:23 PM

There's something to be said for pocketing our dreams and holding them close.

I just love the way you write, blondie!!

Oklahoma Rose
Senior Member

since 2008-02-28

Posts 1586
Oklahoma USA

8 posted 2008-10-13 10:12 PM

I have always enjoyed reading you writes.

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

9 posted 2008-10-15 12:20 PM

Ditto to what everyone else has said. I like this poem a lot and look for your poetry also.

A

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

10 posted 2008-10-15 07:35 AM

thanks very much for reading me

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

11 posted 2008-10-18 05:08 AM

Ms Inky.. you write such beautiful words.. I love reading you ... love RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

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