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Open Poetry #43
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2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea

0 posted 2008-09-27 03:20 AM


To picnic in Barstow
we decided to go…
We settle down, ready to lunch,
a lousy car slow down
until going motionless,
the driver looks at me
and shot a poisonous look,
i still remember it now,
(there was evil and
inflexible determination),
I’m scared to death
and think instantaneously
he’s gonna kill someone
we can’t stay here for a second,
he want some food or money
and will take it whatever the price,
I shout in a hurry
to Dominique and Pierre-Yves:
Jump in the car,
They insinctively obey
to the worry of my voice,
we run away cowardly
and check the car doesn’t follow,
now we park at the police station,
our hearts slow down,
we will sleep in Mojave tonight….

© Copyright 2008 yann rolland - All Rights Reserved
Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
1 posted 2008-09-27 03:47 AM


That was a smart move, yann. Barstow? Yuck, I hate Barstow but then I just don't like the desert, period. Sorry you had such a bad experience but you definately did the right thing.
                                Ida

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2008-09-28 09:45 AM


Not exactly on the list of places to go.  It's one of those towns I pass through and get it over with.  

anyway, hope you've had better days since then.

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
3 posted 2008-09-28 10:21 AM


Thank you Ida, I really look at the death when I meet his gaze, I shout to my friends instantaneously to jump in tha car....Sometimes to be brave is to be dead, I'm glad you understand...I really think I saved some lives this day....

have a sweet day

yann

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
4 posted 2008-09-28 10:24 AM


Thank you Blue Serenade for your comment, I didn't know this place before, it was just a town between San Diego and Mojave on the road to Sequoia Park and we stopped for lunch on the road side...

have a great day

yann

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066
Santa Monica, California, USA
5 posted 2008-09-28 01:25 PM


Hi Yann -- A great anecdote and example of a sensible action.  I wonder, though, what makes it a poem rather that a short story?  

Best,  Jimbeaux

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
6 posted 2008-09-28 05:13 PM


Hi Jim, I think there is always poetry in a story, and always a story in a poem. It is a story but there are two verses in the beginning and two verses in the ending which make alexandrin....I like to share stories too....

thank you for comment

best wishes

yann

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