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Open Poetry #43

Subconscious Shivers

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

0 posted 2008-09-23 10:42 PM

Queer thoughts are always haunting my dreams
Hopefully that will cease as you lay beside me
To leave now would be tempting fate
And to let you go is taking the bait.
The fire you’ve lit for my soul
Is warming my body as a whole
Conscience of the feeling you bring
My heart is about to break out and scream
Yet in my subconscious I feel so afraid
Of getting hurt when your love turns and fades.
Loud and absurd is the ringing in my ears
When to my closest friends, paper and pen
I reveal my only and very lonely fears.

D.Lester Young
Senior Member

since 2001-12-08

Posts 1219
Austin, Tx

1 posted 2008-09-24 12:04 PM

Your words of verse flowed among the whispers, I enjoyed it.

WTBAKELAR

Senior Member

since 2008-09-09

Posts 1089
Utah, USA

2 posted 2008-09-24 03:53 PM

When to my closest friends, paper and pen
I reveal my only and very lonely fears.

I liked this.

viking_metal
Senior Member

since 2007-02-02

Posts 1337
In a Jeep, Minnesota.

3 posted 2008-09-24 06:16 PM

Marry me! Do it!

Some people fall in love and touch the sky, some people fall in love and find quicksand.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

4 posted 2008-09-25 12:00 PM

Michaela, I loved your verse, it's intense and has a beautiful flow.

Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

GothicCherry
Member

since 2008-09-16

Posts 471
TN

5 posted 2008-09-26 10:25 AM

Thanks you guys. I wrote this during in-school so i wuz kind of worried it wouldn't show the right emotions in it.

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