Tell me what you think, not sure if i like it.

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Open Poetry #43

Tell me what you think, not sure if i like it.

PrestonThePoet
Member

since 2007-11-07

Posts 87

0 posted 2008-09-21 08:55 PM

The crescent moon
Arching around stars,
Our fires warmth,
Seeping to my bones.
A spider crawls across the pavement.
Weaving in the shadows,
My eyes slowly rise,
Staring past our aura of light.
Focusing on darkness,
Forming new shapes each second;
Morphing with the ripple of the flame.
And as the coals die down
My imagination sinks into dormancy.
I turn to walk back home,
The cool dew of the grass chilling my feet.
Leaving my thoughts to smolder

AAB
Member

since 2008-04-10

Posts 99
Canada

1 posted 2008-09-21 09:22 PM

hmm.. its got somthing about it. its defanatly good yet somthings not qiute right... still good though

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while" The Princess Bride

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

2 posted 2008-09-23 04:30 PM

I think it is very beautiful! You created a very vivid atmosphere of awareness.

Love,
Margherita

"Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love."
(Rumi)

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2008-09-23 08:39 PM

I rather like it myself, Preston. Has a nice feel about it.
Ida

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