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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2008-09-12 12:01 PM



Time touched me
in a way that pulled
at strings strung together
with knots of various degrees
meant to mend
the broken parts of me.

Time squeezed at the source
of pain and pleasure, pushing
to see how much the tired could take.
Knots come undone, muscles betray.
Leaving me clutching for beat and breath;
another day.

Time knows no counterpoint,
only revenge.
No second chances
only the forgotten and never will be again.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

© Copyright 2008 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2008-09-12 01:33 PM


Amazing Susan!  It makes it such a small world when I read things like this and know that we all are sharing the same ball of string sometimes. I felt this one.

     

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
2 posted 2008-09-12 02:31 PM


I understand the ball of string, Susan. Sometimes it feels like a kitten is playing with the ball of string, doesn't it?
                                       Ida

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
3 posted 2008-09-12 02:31 PM


Thank you Sharon.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2008-09-12 02:32 PM


Ida,

It gets batted around for sure...thanks for reading.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

TheAnonDavid
Member
since 2008-08-28
Posts 237
UK
5 posted 2008-09-12 03:17 PM


Sometimes I look at the jumble of strings and think that I have worked out exactly what will happen if I pull a particular one; usually I am a mile off the mark but - c'est la vie!

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2008-09-13 07:31 AM


Thank you for reading TheAnonDavid.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
7 posted 2008-09-13 09:00 PM


Your writing always grabs me, and sometimes it hurts.
There's no fighting the feelings you write of.

Excellent poem, Susan~  It's really nice to read you again.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2008-09-13 11:22 PM


Time gives us no second chances but a lot of new first ones, fortunately.

Your imagery and manners of description are excellent, Susan. You're a credit to the craft

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
9 posted 2008-09-14 04:13 AM


Susan, this is extremely well written and very beautiful, but so very sad.  I think somebody should give you a huge bunch of multi-coloured happy flowers along with a beeeeg smile and a hearty hug followed by a "nice cup of tea" and compassionate ears in a long chat.  I know that can't fix everything, but perhaps it would ease things a little . . .

Hugs
- Owl

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
10 posted 2008-09-14 09:00 AM


Bluesy!!! thank you so much!

Michael?  That means a lot coming from you.

and Owl? maybe that is exactly what I need...thank you for reading.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
11 posted 2008-09-15 05:34 PM


"Time knows no counterpoint,
only revenge.
No second chances
only the forgotten and never will be again."

Yes, Susan, you are so right but how lovely that time also gives us the hope of tomorrow.  

Enjoyed your sad but so "part of life" poem - well done!

Helen

WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
12 posted 2008-09-15 05:44 PM


Strings, forever dangling infront of us. Wow the way this reads into my life is scary.
Very nice.  BIGGG  HUGGGG.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

13 posted 2008-09-15 10:59 PM


Time has patience men have not--
time takes a grain of sand and pots
are hewn by wind and sun and rain
and time will strike them down again.

Worn is not forlorn but fits
the hands of them in need of it--
chiseled into stone that curves
the bones of hands swerve lessons learned.



I love you.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
14 posted 2008-09-16 12:37 PM


Susan, I'm glad you agreed.  You have all of that from me, albeit cyberfashion.  So, here is your nice hot cup of cybertea, just the way you like it!  

I love what Karen said.  Besides because of being true - well, rather because of it, it is very comforting.

- Owl

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2008-09-16 08:57 AM


Thank you all..

somethings are just harder to swallow than others...

and Karen?  thank you...you always have the right words..as if you get inside to feel what I feel.  I love you.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

16 posted 2008-09-16 03:36 PM


excellent write from start to finish with a superb ending...loved:

"Time knows no counterpoint,
only revenge.
No second chances
only the forgotten and never will be again"

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2008-09-16 05:16 PM


Thank you.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2008-09-16 05:54 PM


good read
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
19 posted 2008-09-18 10:31 AM


Your phrasing pulls the reader in to "feel"
the poem and that is always a treat to the reader.  Well done.  

New opportunities await those that don't wait for chance to catch up.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2008-09-18 10:32 AM


I missed reading your stuff Susan!


ARCTIC WIND

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
21 posted 2008-09-18 11:11 AM


Thank you all.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
22 posted 2008-09-18 01:23 PM


I can relate my dear old friend, beautifully penned.

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

23 posted 2008-09-18 01:57 PM


Susan ... My ear enjoys the rhythm of this. Nicely done. Bob
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
24 posted 2008-09-18 03:59 PM


Thank you Thunder.

Bob! Nice to see you...and thank you for taking the time.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
25 posted 2008-09-18 07:38 PM


You allow the reader to share the feeling of the tautness of a knotted string and then its unraveling, without bringing the reader to his/her knees in writhing agony. Empathy, yes, agony, no.
Sending you peaceful thoughts.

Didymus
Junior Member
since 2008-05-01
Posts 33
USA
26 posted 2008-09-18 07:58 PM


The palpable pressure of raw life
And yet the subtle nuance of a master at work
Like Sinatra’s perfect timing    fading cadence   volume
Thank you for this portraits gift of the churning inner soul

I am in awe of your humanity

Didymus

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
27 posted 2008-09-19 08:39 AM


Thank you Kacy ...and I will collect those peaceful thoughts like rare jewels...

Didymus?  Your response kind of threw me as I see myself so differently, especially now..thank you for giving me a little gift with that.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

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