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Open Poetry #43
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Black Oxygen
| Open Poetry #43 |
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Black Oxygen |
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MsMelissaMae Junior Member
since 2008-08-28
Posts 26Indianola, Iowa |
With each inhale we can only feel The brisk of humility that stands stiff in the room And the touch of lost compassion rising It turns into a pollution of deception Quickly joined by the particles of cruelty That wait for a swift wind to raise them, All the while hatred sits on a door handle Knowing that it will soon spread Person to person, and to the next In the end all we can live with is this Black oxygen But yet there is one escape When our minds meet The beautiful stranger that is our soul We can finally all have A breath of fresh air (I am really struggling with a title for this poem...Black Oxygen just isnt giving me that satisfaction that should come with a title. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share..I would love to hear them) [This message has been edited by MsMelissaMae (08-29-2008 03:46 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2008 Melissa Finck - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Not a bad topic to go with and it rings true for all of us at one time or another if we were to be honest I think. As for a title ... "The Beautiful Stranger Within" comes to mind but I am not so sure that "Black Oxygen" doesn't work. As the artist, it is yours to feel what is appropriate. |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
The only part I don't understand is the part where you say, "I am really struggling with a title". I think the title is just as perfect as the poem. - Owl |
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TheAnonDavid Member
since 2008-08-28
Posts 237UK |
Maybe 'struggling for a title' is all part of the poem. We all struggle for titles - not just poetically. A very thoughtful poem. |
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