To Augustus........upon revelation

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2008-02-20 10:39 AM

Antidote
to the self,
soothing the scraped patches
in coatings of sugar, she's dressed
with a filabuster of blues,
a renaissance of yellows,
borrowed from twilight
surrogate sunstrokes
and rain brigades falling
that fawn over lawn,
spreading their plumage
in feather wisp sky shadows
through diamond trimmed raidrops,
glossing over lost spaces
upon self revelation
of leaves and love missing
that may or may not
turn her garden to Spring.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (02-22-2008 11:27 AM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2008-02-20 10:44 AM

"borrowed from twilight,
surrogate sunstrokes
and rain brigades, falling
that fawn over lawn
spreading their plummage
like feather wisp sky shadows
and diamond trimmed raidrops"

really...this is gorgeous!

poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

2 posted 2008-02-20 10:45 AM

this is a very well written and ambitious piece of writing. i wonder(though every body has its own style) if you could have condense the first para a little to intesify!
it is a good writing

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2008-02-20 04:37 PM

quote:
surrogate sunstrokes
and rain brigades

Such exciting language, dear Michele!!

Wonderful.

love
Margherita

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2008-02-20 05:35 PM

a stunning right....but then, your always a joy to read...
this really held onto me...loved it...

Hugs
Lee J.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

5 posted 2008-02-20 08:42 PM

"borrowed from twilight,
surrogate sunstrokes
and rain brigades, falling
that fawn over lawn
spreading their plummage
like feather wisp sky shadows
and diamond trimmed raidrops"...

Oh man! This is dynamic!

[This message has been edited by ThisDiamond (02-20-2008 10:08 PM).]

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.